Julie Clawson

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Category: Personal

Gurus, Mentors, and Guides

Posted on July 6, 2007July 9, 2025

I’ve recently started reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and am thoroughly enjoying it. The book is a chronicle of the year the author spent traveling to Italy, India, and Indonesia. The stories are witty and the musings about life, love, language, faith and food are well worth the read. One bit that struck me today was her description of following a guru. That’s right a guru. She went to an ashram in India to study under a particular guru. The author fully admits how weird such a thing sounds to our American sensibilities. To put something as personal and private as our faith into the hands of another person is not a normal part of our typically protestant experience. In fact we look down on people who follow gurus as deluded hippies (or something of that sort). And yet the author overcame all of those stereotypes, found a guru, and went to India to study her way of yoga. Interesting.

Besides a few painful classes at the community rec center, I have never done much yoga (not that I wouldn’t like to try) and any that I have done has been of the strictly physical sort (hatha yoga I think it is). I am not looking for a yoga guru (although apparently there were a number of Christians at the ashram), but the concept itself is appealing.

A guru. A mentor. A guide.

All good things even to us protestant believers. I think the issues arise when the concept of a person attracting a following comes into play. That scares us. We shy away from personality cults, fear leaders being placed on pedestals, and ignore whatever a person has to say if they get too popular. I see all the dangers in such things, but should someone be dismissed as a guide just because a lot of other people see them as a potential guide as well? If they have the ability to inspire, teach, and mentor is it really all that bad to want to study under them? I see this all the time in the emerging church. For just reading McLaren or listening to Rob Bell, I am told that I care more about them than about God. So respecting someone as a teacher and wanting to learn from them means I worship them above God? Oh, I’ve seen personality cults form and devotion that borders on idolatry even in the emerging church (and yes even of those two men). But can’t I desire to learn from a person I respect without being accused of idol worship? There has to be a balance there.

So, why am I rambling and ruminating about such things. I think I’m just frustrated in my inability to find a person I can see as a mentor. Oh there are a number of authors, pastors, and bloggers that I respect and look to for a sort of guidance. I greatly appreciate that input in my life. But unlike in the yoga guru system, such leaders wouldn’t dream of taking on disciples (especially not a woman, but that’s another issue). I could pay a lot of money for a spiritual director, but while she may function as a guide, the personal connection gets mired in the business transaction. It is an odd predicament of wanting a mentor, but not knowing anyone who could fit that role. I think that’s why I liked reading about the concept of following a guru. There’s this ready made system in place where one can choose a person to guide them who has no issues taking on pupils/disciples. It’s a very convenient method of mentorship.

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Eight Random Things

Posted on July 5, 2007July 9, 2025


As I continue to post silly personal things…

So Mike tagged me in the 8 Random Things About Me Meme. I think he did it with malicious glee since he hates the things. The official rules for this one are –

The rules of getting tagged are simple. If you get tagged…

* Post eight random facts about yourself.
* Tag eight other bloggers (hopefully those who haven’t been tagged before).
* Post these rules.

I always feel really stupid trying to think of eight (or seven or five) facts about myself. So I tried to think up a theme to play along with. I toyed with the idea of crazy stuff that has happened to me in foreign places (mugged in Naples, car stolen in Barcelona, certain incidents with tequila in Cancun), but there weren’t quite enough to make eight (that I am willing to share). I already did the seven books I’m reading now one and a list of my favorite books would just be too hard. But I like the book theme. So I’m going to go with the “Eight Female Fictional Characters that I have Most Wanted to Be.” Okay, I’m sure that it says something weird about my personality and that I have serious issues that I want to be like characters in books, but I do it anyway (and not all of these are from when I was a kid!). I never wanted to be the typical choices either. All my friends when I was a kid went around pretending to be Princess Leia, Anne of Green Gables, or Madonna (yes it was the 80’s), but I chose lesser known characters to emulate. (I probably would have wanted to be like Anne of Green Gables, but I think I was too much like her to begin with…)

So here my list of really cool female characters I aspired to be –

1. Betsy. There are two types of women in the world. Those who grew up loving the Betsy/Tacy books by Maud Hart Lovelace and those who have never heard of them. I would check these books out of the library over and over again during my childhood (they have since been reprinted so I have my own copies now). Set in pre-WW1 Minnesota, they tell the story of a girl, Betsy, as she grows up and sees her world expand into the modern era. She is outgoing and loves to write. Her experiences as a teenager, falling in love, and traveling abroad shaped my conceptions of life. Part of me truly thought that high school would hold dances where one filled out dance cards and selected who one danced the waltz with. Or that hanging out with friends for entertainment involved reading Shakespeare, writing stories, and singing around a piano. I think I was most shocked by traveling to Europe when I was 12 and realizing that it was a modern as the USA. Not that I really expected different, but the descriptions I had come to know through reading Betsy and the Great World were ingrained in my mind. I loved Betsy because she was a writer – my dream as a child. She also had no limits. She was encouraged to live life fully – to pursue her dreams, to travel, to follow her heart. I wanted to grow up and be like her.

2. Meg from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle. Another go to again and again book from my childhood. Meg was smart, but not in the way that fit the system. I always did exactly what was expected of me and did it well. I wanted to do more than that – to be creatively intelligent and find myself on adventures. Meg wasn’t a fearless hero, but she never gave up and did things out of a love for her family.

3. Aerin from The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley. The quirky misfit princess who trains herself to become a dragonslayer and saved her Kingdom. Although most of my Christian friends have issues with her because of the way her relations play out in the book, I still love her for her courage. She didn’t fit the expectations of a princess and never gave up trying to discover who she really was. I love that she broke the mold and took on the most dangerous tasks because she was the only one who could.

4. Vicki Austin from Madeleine L’Engles’ Austin Family books, especially A Ring of Endless Light. So yes, the books about her are total coming of age, discovering oneself, and falling in love books. I so wanted to be Vicki when I was in 5th grade. She was a more normal person than the others on this list, but she got to hang out with family and friends that sat around discussing literature and philosophy. She also got to help do scientific observations of dolphins (this was my I want to be a marine biologist so I can swim with dolphins phase – 5th grade remember…). I wanted a life like hers – full of neat experiences and good conversations.

5. Mara Jade from the Star Wars Expanded Universe created by master Star Wars writer Timothy Zahn. So she is just an awesome, super sexy, totally independent, Jedi Master (who ends up marrying Luke Skywalker). The part of me that wants to be a kick-butt I’m going to save the world type of girl loves Mara Jade (same reason I love Sydney Bristow, but I’m sticking to books here). She’s fun and the exact opposite of my conflict avoiding pacifist nature. But then again if you know me only as Mara Jade from The Ooze, the description sorta fits.

6. Eowyn from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Another kickbutt girl who is determined to fight for what she believes in. I love her passion even as I understand her uncertainty in who she is as a person (even though I hate the way Tolkien resolved her character in the end – he CANNOT write women). I share her fears of life becoming “A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire.” She appeals to the part of me that wants to make a difference in this world.

7. Liadan from Son of the Shadows Book 2 of The Sevenwaters Trilogy by Juliet Marillier. This book is a retelling of the Tam Lin tale – a Scottish poem where the damsel rescues the prince. I love most Tan Lin based novels, but mix in Celtic healing lore and ancient tribal factions, and this becomes more than just a feminist love story. The pagany side of me enjoys stories of wise women who are attuned to the earth and the natural power of plants. I like the idea of that sort of connection and would enjoy having that sort of knowledge.

8. Phedre from Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Legacy series. Um. If you’ve read the books, you may understand. If you haven’t, I really don’t want to explain.

Update – The picture is me as Eowyn back in 2003

As for tagging. I’ll leave it open. It you want to be tagged (for 8 Random Things or 8 Characters that you Want To Be…), consider yourself tagged. Just let me know if you decide to continue the meme.

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Books

Posted on June 30, 2007July 8, 2025

So I mentioned in my last post about wondering what I will be reading next. Then I saw this fun meme with a blanket tag over at Emerging Grace and Calacirian and decided to play. The point is to list 7 of the books I’m reading now (because you can tell about someone by the books they’re reading). Well, I technically haven’t started any of these, but they are what will be read very very soon.

1. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. For the Emerging Women book club July discussion.

2. The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. For our church’s Vision Team meeting this Thursday. I guess I should start it soon…

3. Chasing Sophia by Lilian Calles Barger. It’s been recommended by a few people (including the author) as something I might like, so I’ll give it a go.

4. Justice in the Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson. I’ve been looking forward to this book for awhile and we just got an advance copy. There are days when living “justly” in the suburbs seems near impossible, so I’m interested in hearing their take on how it might be done.

And for the sci-fi fantasy…

5. Blade of Fortriu and The Well of Shades by Juliet Marillier. Books 2 and 3 in the Bridei Chronicles, an historical fantasy series that focuses on the Picts.

6. Exile by Aaron Allston and Sacrifice by Karen Traviss. Books 4 and 5 in the Star Wars: Legacy of the Force series. I’ve been trying to avoid reading spoilers about the fate of Mara Jade in book 5…

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling. Just three more weeks, just three more weeks…

And to continue the meme – if you read this and want to play, consider yourself tagged. Just let me know you played!

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My Blog Turns 2!

Posted on June 23, 2007July 8, 2025

So my blog officially turns two today. I know that in the grand scheme of the blogworld that isn’t very old, but its been quite a journey for me. I think the process started a little over two years ago when I attended the 2005 Emergent Gathering in Nashville. We had recently left our jobs at our old church, had no new jobs lined up, and had a three month old baby. At the time – after spending nearly 4 months on strict bedrest (and drugs that prevented me from reading) and not having a full night’s sleep since Emma was born, I was feeling very disconnected. I didn’t think I would ever have functioning use of my brain again. At the Convention, I attended the Emerging Women’s luncheon and ended up at a table with a bunch of women who were in seminary. They spent the whole lunch discussing the conversations they were having on their blogs. I felt so stupid. I could barely put a coherent sentence together much less have anything meaningful to say on a blog. I desperately wanted to be part of the conversation, but didn’t think I had the right or ability to.

Fast forward a couple of months. By then I had realized that nursing a baby gave me large amounts of time to read. Granted, it was only fiction, but I was reading again. So as not to drive Mike nuts by telling him about books he had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, I started a blog. The idea was to post reviews, summaries, and thoughts about the books I was reading. I did do that, occasionally, but mostly I just posted fun blog things and pictures of Emma. From time to time I wanted to post my thoughts on certain topics, but was honestly too afraid. I was afraid of what the people who knew me would think about what I would write (obviously I never spoke my ideas aloud). So this blog remained a random picture blog with the occasional book review thrown in for about a year.

What changed things though was when I attended the Emerging Women ReGathering in April of 2006. One of the themes of that gathering was to explore how women (even in the Emerging Church) have often not been allowed (by others and ourselves) to have a voice. The weekend provided times of healing and encouragement to speak up in whatever was we can. I left having made a personal commitment to use my voice by putting my thoughts into writing – no matter how jumbled or incoherent they may at times be. I’m not saying that my writing is good or all that meaningful, just that it is a vehicle for my voice and a means to develop and refine my thoughts.

So this blog has been part of my journey of awakening and self-discovery the last couple of years. I have enjoyed crafting it and plan on continuing to express my thoughts through random reviews, reflections, and rants. Who knows where (if anywhere) this will lead, but for now I’m enjoying the journey.

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Summer Solstice

Posted on June 21, 2007July 8, 2025

Today is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. The day when we are blessed with the most light all year long. I love that the focus of the solstices is light not darkness. Today we celebrate the abundance of light and the life if brings to the earth. We give thanks for the first fruits of harvest and take pleasure in the warm days of summer. The focus is not on the return of the darkness but on appreciation of the light. In winter when the darkness is at its greatest, we celebrate the return of the light. We rejoice that light will always overcome the darkness.

We celebrated the Solstice with the alternative parents group I am a part of with a picnic and bubble extravaganza. (what better way to celebrate anything than to have laughing toddlers chase bubbles!) Here is Emma enjoying the occasion.

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Jubilee USA Grassroots Conference

Posted on June 18, 2007July 8, 2025


Sorry for the silence here the last couple of days, I was at the Jubilee USA Grassroots Conference over the weekend. It was an exhausting weekend and I feel overwhelmed with information. At the same time, it was revitalizing and inspirational to be surrounded by so many people who have truly committed their lives to make this world a better place for everyone.

Jubilee USA exists to promote economic justice for the world, mostly through Debt Relief. They of course realize that to improve conditions worldwide debt relief is just one element that needs to happens, so they promote and partner with organizations that work on all eight of the Millennium Development Goals. But Jubilee’s main focus is to end so-called third world debt. Most Americans are unaware of the need for debt relief at all. They hear the term “debt” and think of their maxed out credit cards. But Debt Relief refers to countries that have incurred millions of dollars in debt from loans from other countries, the IMF, and the World Bank. The problem is that many of these loans were irresponsibly given, acquired (and squandered) illegally by dictators, or are remains of colonialism and the Cold War. These are debts that the people of these countries didn’t ask for or approve (like South Africans having to pay back the loans that the Apartheid government used to fight anti-apartheid efforts) and now these countries are having to use up to 80% of their national budget to repay these debts and their insane interest rates. To come up with that money the countries have cut public education, health services, and stopped hiring doctors, nurses, and teachers. Most aid the country receives from Western countries just goes straight back to West in debt repayment. To put numbers to it – Nigeria has borrowed $5 billion, to date it has paid $16 billion and still owes $32 billion. There are a number of stories and reasons why these debts are wrong, but the effect is that they are keeping the poorest countries in this world in cycles of extreme poverty.

The Jubilee movement calls for a cancellation of these debts. They invoke the Biblical principle of Jubilee to forgive debts and break the chains of injustice. Why? Because the people of these countries don’t owe and they shouldn’t pay. Besides the fact that the principles on these debts have been paid already, these weren’t their debts in the first place. A good way to help understand this is to imagine that someone stole your credit card, charged $10 billion in weapons on it and did all that before you were born. But for some reason you have to pay it all back, resulting in your children not being able to attend school, you not having clean water, and there not being health services available to you. To put a selfish spin on why cancel debts, if these countries don’t have debt canceled the environmental degradation and political instability (potential for terrorism) increases. But most of all it should be a moral choice for all people of faith or conscious who claim to care for the least of these to do whatever we can to give all people a fighting chance at life and the basic rights they deserve.

So I got to spend the weekend hearing stories about debt relief, economic justice, and human rights. I knew most of the general ideas before, but got to learn the facts and the stories this weekend. I heard of the extreme injustices being perpetrated (Vulture Funds), attempts to stand up to injustice, and stories of hope from countries whose debt has already been cancelled. I met activists from around the world – a political cartoonist from Kenya, lobbyists from DC, a human rights watch journalist in exile from Columbia. We even heard from the Ecuadorian Finance Minister who came to report in how her country is choosing to stop making payments on their onerous debt so they can spend money on basic human services. As a country they are standing up to the World Bank and the IMF (and their puppetmasters the G8). They face serious legal, economic, and political (hopefully not military) dangers in doing so, but they choose to no longer be oppressed by the rich west.

I could share any number of stories – of both horror and hope. At this point, I realize the need more than ever to get the word out about these issues. It is the government that can effect change by canceling the debts (or pressuring the IMF and World Bank to do so). But it will take people telling their elected representative (they do represent us you know) to support morality and debt relief. As I posted last week a bipartisan bill was just introduced to Congress called the Jubilee Act. It’s up to us to tell our Congresspeople to support it. Simple, easy, but something that most people (especially Christians) have an allergic reaction to (treating the government like the empire it pretends to be instead of the representative democracy it is).

I’m sure that I will be mentioning other aspects of this event on this blog in the future. I just want to conclude by mentioning something I realized during the conference. Exactly five years ago I was at another conference at Moody Bible Institute just a few blocks from the Loyola building I was at this weekend. Both events were “Christian” events (although I don’t think Jews, Muslims and Atheists would have been welcomed at the Moody one). But what sticks in my memory from the Moody event is the insane amount of time given to discussing exactly what type of clothing the women at the conference were allowed to wear – what sort of swimsuit, the exact width tank top straps had to be, and whether or not it was okay to wear jeans in church). When such an “adventures in missing the point” defines who we are as Christians instead of seeking justice and proclaiming good news to the poor I rejoice to no longer be immersed in that sort of Christian experience. For although I spent this past weekend hearing depressing and horrific stories of oppression and injustice, I came away more full of hope in God and the potential of a better world than I do from “ministry” conferences where the focus remains on stuff we should have gotten over a long time ago (accepting women’s rights for example). I got to be (for once) in an environment where gender equality was assumed and not debated and racial and ethnic diversity was the norm. It was encouraging to see that such things actually do exist (as opposed to just being endlessly discussed and debated). I am very thankful to have had this opportunity this weekend and look forward to continuing to meet with the Chicago Jubilee group to build on the grassroots campaign for justice, mercy, and love.

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Yes, I am a Nerd

Posted on June 11, 2007July 8, 2025

A few fun blog things today.

Nerd test – How Nerdy Are You (HT – Songs of Unforgetting) –

I am nerdier than 79% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!

And to prove that I am indeed a nerd –
Trekkie Test

NerdTests.com User Test: The Trekkie Test.
What does it mean? You know Trek, and you love it. You may not dress up in uniform every day, but you’re dedicated to your series, or two, and happy with being entertained by it.(make that 3 series that I love, and yes I have dressed up in uniform and been to conventions)

Here’s to hoping that the new JJ Abrams Star Trek series actually happens. I mean JJ Abrams and Star Trek – two addictions in one, its got to be good right!

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Diversity, Variety, and Vision

Posted on June 11, 2007July 8, 2025

While driving around in my car today, I was listening to the radio. I generally have it tuned to the Chicago station The Mix. Up until recently it hasn’t been much of a mix station, just a “today’s hit music” thing. I had to tune to one of Chicago’s many “we play anything” stations created in the last year or so for a better mix. But I noticed today as I heard a Carrie Underwood country song being played that the variety has increased. Not that there is a huge variety of indie or say folk music being played, but the stringent genres are beginning to blur. Generally I like this, I enjoy the variety (not that there is ever any excuse to have to listen to Justin Timberlake, but that’s a different issue entirely). I personally like variety on the radio and in the blog world and at church. But this contradicts what the “experts” tell me I should like.

Read any expect advice on how to have a good radio station, or blog, or church and you will hear the same thing – pick a target audience and stick to that audience. I read that if I want my blog to be read I need to only talk about one thing – politics or theology or social justice or entertainment or family. Apparently people only want to read a blog for one thing and one thing only. Same thing with church. I’ve read advice that tells churches never to have blended services. The advice reasons that since no one ever listens to both rock and country music or both classical and pop, they won’t attend a church that forces them to worship two different ways (as if there are only two ways…). It’s all about marketing and dividing ourselves into smaller and smaller interest groups.

But I personally think that advice has serious issues. Perhaps there are people who are so immature that they can’t listen to a variety of music or put up with a personal post on a blog that usually deals with technology or cope if their church uses organs (or guitars or lectio divina or whatever). Is the point really to cater to the myopic and the immature? Our culture is moving towards greater diversity in areas such as these. The radio stations play a greater variety, multicultural expressions in cuisine, decor, clothing and philosophy are mainstream, and the lines between politics, religion, and family are obviously beginning to blur. Why be controlled by the opinions of those who can’t get over themselves? I am more interested in staying true to a vision and reaching a more open-minded group of people than I am in compromise for the sake of marketing.

Perhaps this is all excuses – why I like the radio stations I do, why I blog like I do, why we do church like we do – despite what the “experts” say. And perhaps the attempts to appreciate diversity and live holistically won’t work or succeed (as the general definitions of such things go), but at least we can say that the vision wasn’t sold out to marketing strategy. But I don’t think its just me either.

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Garage Sale

Posted on June 9, 2007July 8, 2025

So that was us this weekend – Garage Sale 8 AM. We sorted through our junk and attempted to get rid of wedding presents we haven’t used in 7 1/2 years, books representing theologies we no longer subscribe to (the ones that escaped the “burn” pile at least), and clothes that 2 years after giving birth I finally am admitting I will never fit into again. The typical stuff.

What I wasn’t expecting were the people. Not that they’d show up, but how well, interesting, they could be. There were those who showed up asking for things I would be appalled to ever have in my house much less sell (guns (isn’t that illegal???), Joel Osteen books). Not that they would know that, but still. Then there were those who after looking around our garage asked if we had and snowmobiles or go-carts for sale – does it look like we do?! A couple of ladies told me that I was a good person because I was selling John Piper and Max Lucado books (did they ever stop to think why I was getting rid of those books?) Then there was the lady who let her dog wander into our house and left without it. She did come back and get it, but come on, she FORGOT her dog at a garage sale.

The conversations though were the strangest. One guy was amazed at how clean my garage was and so proceeded to tell me all about why his garage is so dirty. Apparently he works on cars and I got to hear the entire story of how he rebuilt a golf cart and painted it like a bumblebee. Another guy (after buying the huge bag of cassette tapes) decided to let me know how evil he thought this new fangled invention the CD was and how he will never switch over to using it. The most annoying man asked me about my arm and then told me how great it was that I didn’t let not having an arm get me down. I wasn’t like those Indians who blah, blah, blah (fill in negative stereotypes and racist dribble if you must). I swear I’m too nice and let people ramble on forever about crap that I could care less about. Yes, I know that’s kinda part of the job description for church planter, but bumblebee golf carts? is that really part of the deal?

Anyway just thought I’d share since I’m too exhausted to think of much else to say at this point.

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Interfaith Encounters

Posted on June 7, 2007July 8, 2025

So got to spend the better part of the day today in Chicago (the city as opposed to the general geographic area). I caught the train at the end of line at a station surrounded by cornfields and spent the next hour watching those cornfields change into small farms and horse corrals, then cookie-cutter suburbs, then nice rich suburbs, then older artsy suburbs, then poor ethic suburbs, then run-down factory zones, until I finally entered the land of skyscrapers and trendy loft apartments. It was a most interesting ride to watch the history of urban sprawl pass by my window.

I went downtown to participate in a ecumenical, inter-faith clergy discussion. It was an amazing group that had gathered at Wicker Park Lutheran Church for lunch and discussion. I think I was the only pseudo-evangelical. Others represented Lutherans, Presbyterians, Catholics, and Unitarians and from outside Christianity there were two Zen Buddhist Priests and an Emerging Jewish Rabbi. The “clergy cafe” is hosted by Reverend Clare Butterfield (Unitarian-Universalist) of Faith in Place, a Creation care ministry based in downtown Chicago. Mike attended the last gathering (read about it here) so I got to go this time.

The topic for discussion was family systems theory and its implications for leadership for people in modern congregations and modern times. We were given a book list to choose from that dealt with systems theory. I read Peter Steinke’s Healthy Congregations. Having not been to seminary (yet) where it seemed most people there had studied systems theory, I felt a bit lost at points in the discussion. We spent a lot of time discussing the central necessity of self-differentiation in systems theory. As Wikipedia explains –

Differentiation of self refers to one’s ability to separate one’s own intellectual and emotional functioning from that of the family. Bowen spoke of people functioning on a single continuum or scale. Individuals with “low differentiation” are more likely to become fused with predominant family emotions. (A related concept is that of an undifferentiated ego mass, which is a term used to describe a family unit whose members possess low differentiation and therefore are emotionally fused.) Those with “low differentiation” depend on others approval and acceptance. They either conform themselves to others in order to please them, or they attempt to force others to conform to themselves. They are thus more vulnerable to stress and they struggle more to adjust to life changes. (534 Bowen 1974) To have a well-differentiated “self” is an ideal that no one realizes perfectly. They recognize that they need others, but they depend less on other’s acceptance and approval. They do not merely adopt the attitude of those around them but acquire their principles thoughtfully. These help them decide important family and social issues, and resist the feelings of the moment. Thus, despite conflict, criticism, and rejection they can stay calm and clear headed enough to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotion. What they decide and say matches what they do. When they act in the best interests of the group, they choose thoughtfully, not because they are caving in to relationship pressures. Confident in their own thinking, they can either support another’s view without becoming wishy-washy or reject another’s view without becoming hostile.

The lack of self-differentiation can result in conflict and the most unhealthy way to address conflict is to cut oneself off from it. “The opposite of an emotional cut-off is an open relationship. It is a very effective way to reduce a group’s over-all anxiety. Continued low anxiety permits motivated family members to begin the slow steps to better differentiation.”

It is all a very fascinating topic, but as with most traditionally modern expressions of faith, I felt the Emerging Church just didn’t fit. In Systems Theory (according to my very limited understanding thereof) stronger leaders and more distinct individuals are necessary for a group/church to be healthy. This seems to fly in the face of organic, missional approaches to church where hierarchy is replaced with community. Also those from the mainline perspectives couldn’t understand that for some in the emerging church, leaving a church (cutting-off) may be the only healthy option. They couldn’t fathom that there could be churches where questions weren’t welcome and intellectual honesty was suppressed for the sake of tradition and doctrine (or where ecumenical/interfaith gatherings weren’t the norm, much less approved of). So to assume that to leave a church is always unhealthy isn’t something I can concede. It may not always be painless, but sometimes it is the only possible way to stay alive for many people involved in the emerging church (and is often a decision that is made for them anyway). But the conversation was a good reminder that my post-evangelical emerging experience is hardly a common story or issue outside of the bubble I exist in (not that that makes it any less valid, just different).

It was a fun day and I’m still processing our discussion. I hope I can take the opportunity to gather again with this group in the future.

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Julie Clawson

Julie Clawson
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Writer, mother, dreamer, storyteller...

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"Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise." - Sylvia Plath

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