Category: Parenting

This post is part of my ongoing response to the questions I posted as part of this month’s book discussion on Colossians Remixed by Brian Walsh and Sylvia Keesmaat over at the Emerging Women blog. (read my other responses – here).

Question #6 –

What is your reaction to this quote? “Does the child who sits in front of a television set for three to four hours a day, shops at the mall with her parents, goes to school and recites the Pledge of allegiance, plays computer games, listens to her president encouraging everyone to go out shopping in order to defeat terrorism, wears clothes from the Gap, and plays with the toys created out of the imagination of Disney and Hollywood, ever actually choose the American way of life? … Was there a moment of conversion in her life when the American dream became her dream? No. She imbibed the monocultural consumerist dream in the fast food she ate, the polluted air she breathed and the visual culture she inhabited. And so she was converted, made into a cult member, before she knew what was happening.” (p171).

So I read this quote the other evening. Emma was sitting on her Elmo chair wearing her “Future Jedi Knight” t-shirt and watching Dora the Explorer. We had spent the afternoon at playgroup at the mall. Oh, and we had gone through a fast food drive through for lunch on the way to the mall. My initial response – “oh crap, I’m a horrible mother/person. I need to feel guilty.”

But I don’t. Well, not completely.

I’m a fan of moderation. As I’ve mentioned recently in other posts, I don’t think most (if any) things are evil in and of themselves. Kinda Shakespearean “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” sort of thing. So while I think there are serious things wrong with the world we live in, I don’t see the best response to be withdraw from that world.

For example I see the abuse of alcohol as a bad thing, but I don’t think that means that all people should always avoid alcohol. I see being consumed by greed and the desire to acquire stuff as well as an ignorance of the global implications of our purchases as bad things, but I don’t think it means that all shopping must end. I see a world where children lose the ability to be imaginative and creative as a bad thing, but don’t think imaginative stories/movies (even if they have an agenda) should be condemned and avoided. (As for the fast food thing. That’s just pretty much evil and harmful to our bodies, our families, and the environment. I have no excuse there).

I’m a fan of engagement over withdraw. To explore with my child the world around her. To not mindlessly accept and consume, not reject for the sake of rejection. To teach her to value people over stuff. To encourage her imagination. Will this affect our habits? – it should if we are in any way different from the empire around us. Just being aware that our shopping habits affects families and children around the world changes a lot.

And I see nothing wrong with enjoying life. I enjoy a well cooked meal. I enjoy a good glass of wine. I enjoy a good movie or book or TV show. I try not to be consumed by such things (although there are times in my life when I’ve leaned in that direction, especially when it comes to certain fiction genres. And please no LOST comments…). I see no problem with Emma enjoying Dora, or the children’s museum, or the Zoo. But if our enjoyment comes at the expense of others (dark chocolate made by trafficked children…) then there are issues.

Its the whole in but not of the world thing. At this point I see it as possible to live in this world counterculturally. That doesn’t mean a rejection of all that the world has to offer, just a need to engage thoughtfully with it and to constantly be self aware.

All that said, there is still some guilt. I know there are still things I need to change. Areas of my life where I knowing support the empire over Christ. I want to get past the guilt and find positive ways to live. It’s a fine balance between guilt induced through education and awareness and the healthy changes they can effect. But I’m trying to be aware. To not let my daughter be initiated mindlessly into the cult. To not promote values that I disagree with just because they are easy or expected. And to encourage her to subvert the empire when it needs correction. Do I have a clue most of the time as to what I am doing? No, but I’m going to keep on doing it.

So while Alfie Kohn in The Homework Myth questions the need to assign homework as the default option, he also proposes a few ways to make homework better if it must be assigned.

First, homework should never be assigned for the sake of homework. For every assignment given, it should be asked what theory of learning is at its base? Does it involve active or passive learning? Does it have students wrestling with ideas or do they just have to follow directions? If the homework doesn’t actually contribute to real learning, it shouldn’t be assigned.

Homework should be given if it is an activity that is suited for the home. The question should be asked – why can’t this be done at school? Homework should make a meaningful connection between learning taking place at school and life at home. It shouldn’t take away from life at home, but enrich and expand it. So projects where a child interviews a parent or experiments in the kitchen help make those connections.

Homework should help children engage in natural learning with adults. Interactive and intergenerational activities like cooking, doing crosswords, and surfing the internet strengthen the family and learning. Doing normal activities together is more organic and does more for “family values” than the nightly fights that homework brings to most families.

The best homework is just asking children to read (or be read to) books of their choosing. The value of sustained reading is tremendous and gives children ownership of their learning. The truncated out-of-context articles children usually have to read for the sole purpose of learning vocabulary doesn’t do much for them. Neither does imposing random constraints on the reading like assigning a certain number of pages or minutes or rewarding the child for doing something enjoyable. (students who used to get lost in books will stop reading after the quota has been met). IMHO this would have been the perfect type of homework. I always complained that I never had time to read because I had too much homework (which I remember consisting of massive amounts of worksheets).

And it should always be kept in mind that children are expected to live their life. They need time to read for pleasure, make friends and socialize with them, get some exercise, go to church, get some rest, or just be a child. Jobs (and school is a child’s job) that take up all your time day and night are not healthy (ha, speaking as someone in ministry…). There has to be time for self-reflection, creativity, family, and community. Some things are far more valuable than giving into a system that doesn’t even support the same basic values as you do.

In my continuing posting on Alfie Kohn’s The Homework Myth, I want to explore one more reason Kohn gives for why homework is bad. He of course explores a variety of more reasons, but these are the ones that stood out to me. I plan to also post a summary of his suggestions for how to improve homework if it must be given.

Kohn argues that for teachers to rely on homework to teach students widens the gap between the haves and the have nots. Disadvantaged students don’t have the same resources and home aid as middle class students. In many cases parents are expected to check over the student’s homework and are often sent notes home if they fail to catch a mistake. This had led many parents to have to spend much of their evenings relearning things in exactly the system their child’s teacher (that year) wants them to do things. Since it is up to them to make sure that the homework is correct, many parents have opted to give their kids a life and do their homework for them. While this of course doesn’t lead to any real learning on the child’s part, it does guarantee them the reward of a good grade. Since good grades are often valued over learning, this system isn’t often challenged.

But what about the students who don’t have educated parents with lots of free time at home? Who don’t have a way to get to the library or access to the internet? Who don’t have the extra cash to make the diorama that will meet expectations? And so forth. Kohn insists that if teachers are set on still assigning that sort of homework, they must assure that all students are provided with equal resources to complete those assignments. The school or community must provide before and afterschool learning/resource centers where the students have access to the same equipment and help that less disadvantaged students have.

Providing equal resources will not solve all the issues or eliminate equality, but it can help prevent the gap from widening any further. But it will take examining expectations, creative planning, and more caring allocation of money in order to provide equal opportunity learning. Basically it will take hard work. Are teachers, administrators, and tax payers willing to help prevent continuing economic (and hence usually racial) inequality or do they just want to maintain the status quo (discriminatory system) because it requires less work?