Julie Clawson

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Fall Decorating or Why I’m Wearing Purple on Election Day

Posted on October 27, 2006July 7, 2025

So fall is upon us and the leaves are changing. It’s the time of year to bring out the fall decorations. This year that consists of tacky Halloween items and even tackier political signs. So amidst the orange and purple lights, tombstones, spider webs, giant blow-up Winnie-the-Pooh vampires, and fake police tape (imho the CSI affect on what we find really scary) one finds small oceans of political signs proclaiming one name or another.

I find these signs to be annoying and generally unhelpful. They all make use of the red, white, and blue color scheme that tries to appeal to our supposed patriotism – but since everyone’s doing it what does it really matter? Plus it clashes with the fall colors. Out here in the rural areas fully in the republican grip, unless a candidate is republican, you have no idea of their party from their sign. Out here it’s a liability to be democrat or independent, or heaven forbid, Green. I wonder if it different in other areas.

In general, this election is annoying. I know I’m voting for John Laesch against Dennis Hastert, but beyond that it’s a toss up. I don’t like either Topinka or Blagojevich, nor the guy running in the “let’s hate people” Constitution party. I think I might actually be leaning Green for the governor. I don’t vote party lines. As a Christian – neither of the big parties represent the values of Christ’s Kingdom. (check out the great resource Sojourners put out about voting our values.) I’m not red or blue – I’m purple with a touch of green. Which are perfect colors for Halloween. 😉

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Racism in the Burbs?

Posted on October 22, 2006July 7, 2025

So at Via Christus this past week we ran a food drive for our county’s food pantry. We advertised our plans and last weekend dropped off nearly 1500 grocery bags with notes explaining the food drive on them. People who were interested could fill the bag with food items and leave it on their doorstep by 10AM Saturday. The note also asked anyone who was interested in helping collect the bags to please contact the church. We had a couple of Mormon missionaries volunteer to help and a father called and said he would like to help with his son so he could teach his son about community service. Many hands make light work, so we were grateful for the interest.

On Saturday we set out in about a dozen groups to collect the bags. We had to drive slowly through the neighborhoods with our hazards on looking at porches to see if people had left out a bag with our bright neon sign on it. If we saw a bag we would jump out to get it. We all looked a bit strange doing this, but we had advertised it, and there were a bunch of us out doing it. Even so one of the groups, and only one, were stopped and questioned by the police. It was the father/son group – the father and son who also happened to be African-American. The father who had brought his son to help teach him about community service and instead had to talk to him about why they out of all the groups were stopped by the police. I don’t know if the police were doing racial profiling (consciously or unconsciously), but its just very very interesting.

I don’t know if we will ever see this man and his son again. They volunteered to help us help the needy in our area and I am so sad they they had this negative experience because of their offer to help.

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Life is Good…

Posted on October 20, 2006July 7, 2025

So apparently MGM recently announced that they will be making a film version of The Hobbit together with New Line Cinemas sometime within the next few years. No word yet if Peter Jackson will direct (or if Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf), but this is good news for us LOTR freaks. I guess its back to checking theonering everyday for news… 😉

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My Library

Posted on October 19, 2006July 7, 2025

So I found this really cool new blog toy thingy. Check out LibraryThing – a place where you can create an online library of all of your books. Adding up to 200 books is free ($25 for lifetime unlimited listings). It is a cool way to see what others are reading or (if they are like me) how they define themselves through books. You can see a random sampling from my library over on the sidebar. I’ve had fun entering favorite books and books that “represent me.” Enjoy.

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Emerging Women at the Gathering

Posted on October 18, 2006July 7, 2025

Since I attended the Emergent Gathering on the heels of the Emerging Women gathering, and since I was giving “presentations” on Emerging Women and feminine imagery for God, naturally my experience at the Gathering was flavored by gender issues. Not that gender equality was a hugely debated issue in that group – which was refreshing – it was just always on my radar. Two things that stood out: the response to “emerging women”, and the actions of many of the women there.

In leading a discussion on Emerging Women, some of the women there protested its necessity. There was an assumption that equality exists already, and that we are actually hurting that equality to separate ourselves as women. Another sentiment expressed was that, since the power structures of the church are wrong/broken in the first place, we as women should be working to change those and not to join them. There is a part of me that agrees with each of those sentiments. There is danger in having “separate but equal” sorts of gatherings/books/discussions. And I do agree that the male driven power structures in the church are wrong and broken. But I still think there is a need for Emerging Women.

When women feel like we don’t have a voice in a community, then equality isn’t fully realized. We can be a lone voice who seeks power and is labeled a bitch for trying to do what the guys are already doing, or we can join one another as a collective voice seeking justice together. We can encourage each other and find a wider audience as a networked group. Having a voice isn’t a power play. It is a call for respect and an opportunity to share perspectives that are being ignored. And, amazingly enough, there are still women who think they are not allowed to have a voice or be used by God. If they can join a conversation where they feel comfortable among other women who can encourage them in the process of self-discovery, then that conversation (separate though it may be) is necessary.

The whole power issue gets me. I usually see the obsession with power as a very male thing. I want respect and encouragement, but I care very little for power. I have no desire to “be over” large numbers of people, but I still want to teach. I want to share what is inside me – what God is putting on my heart. I want to do that in a community of others who are all serving, teaching, and leading each other. If that is a female approach to leadership then I see it as being a healing antidote to broken power structures. But if we do not advocate for women to be given opportunities within the system as it currently exists, then how can we ever expect it to change?

All that said, I still saw a huge disparity between the men and women at the Gathering. None of the main leaders or big names (and a good number of the men in general) had come with their wives. Why not? Are their wives not part of this conversation? I understand the need to leave one half of the couple home with the kids (that’s what I did) – but I met only one other woman whose husband had stayed home while there were scores of men who had left wives at home (with or without kids). And of the women who were there, most spent their time chasing the kids around on the edges of discussion and not fully participating in them. When some of us asked them if they were involved in the emerging conversation, most said no, because they weren’t readers. That scared me. There are so few women involved in this to begin with and the ones who do show up don’t feel like they can really be a part of the conversation as it is presented now.

I have to wonder, if it is only the males leading this conversation, will it have anything to offer women at all? Also, if there are all these men discovering a new way of being a Christian while their wives aren’t engaged in the conversation – what does that do to their marriages? How can they talk about faith or worship together? Does the man even attempt to converse with his wife about these things or does she just reject ideas as “too intellectual?” I don’t get it. There is so much opportunity here and there are still these huge issues developing that aren’t being addressed. Something needs to change and it will have to be addressed proactively in order for anything to happen at all.

Just some reflections for the moment. I’m going to need to think more about this issue.

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Emergent Gathering

Posted on October 15, 2006July 7, 2025

So what to say about the Emergent Gathering…


For starters – the Glorieta Conference Center is a fantastic place. It’s nestled in the mountains outside of Santa Fe – so one is surrounded by spectacular views, dense forests, and (this year at least) beautiful wildflowers. A beautiful place to be part of a conversation.

The campus is huge with massive meeting halls, hotels, apartments, and cabins, gardens, game areas, a lake, and at the center of everything a giant Bible (the Bible thing was really weird, to get anywhere on the campus you had to drive past the Bible – all roads led to the Bible… it was strange). At night you could see tons of stars which is something I rarely get to see here in the Chicago suburbs. The setting did serve to show me how out of shape I am given that at 7500 feet elevation I got out of breath just trying to walk from building to building.

As for the Gathering itself – it is a very organic and somewhat chaotic event. They call it a do-it-yourself kind of retreat/conference. We cooked our own meals which had been planned by other attendees. Whoever wanted to could lead a session. I led sessions on Re-imagining Feminine Imagery for God and on Emerging Women. Other offerings included open forums on theology, a photography walk, a visit to Santa Fe art galleries, discussions about salvation, a contemplative hike, forums on worship, Biblical literacy, and community involvement, and a local brewery tour and tasting. At first, I didn’t know what to make of the seeming chaos and disorganization. Nothing was really planned or discussed until it was about to happen. My “J” tendencies were beginning to stress out until I realized that in true DIY fashion, I could make the week whatever I wanted to make it. The community was coming together for an experience and what that experience became depended on how much each of us were willing to offer to the community. So I did my best to jump in.

During my time there, I got to participate in some fun discussions and meet some wonderful people. There were people there at various stages of encountering the emerging church conversation. Some people had just begun to hear about it and had come to the Gathering to find out more. Others who are in unsafe places at churches where they could loose their jobs if the wrong people discovered what books they had been reading came because they were desperate for like-minded people to talk to.

Other of us who have fully engaged in the conversation came looking for conversations that went deeper than the typical “intro to emergent” ones we often have. And all sorts of denominations were represented. There were those who had left the institutional church, evangelicals, post-evangelicals, mainliners (although they made up a smaller percentage of the whole than they did at the Emerging Women Gathering), and even an atheist interested in the emerging/postmodern approach to Christianity. I had fun making new friends and putting faces on internet friends from the Ooze and elsewhere. There were of course some of the Emergent “big names” there and it was refreshing to just hang out with them as opposed to hearing them speak from on high at a typical conference. Just hanging out with people was a huge part of the blessing of the Gathering. Be it over meals in local restaurants (yummy New Mexican food!) or over beer and wine late nights in the communal cabins – conversation was the core of this gathering.

A few “snapshots” of my favorite Gathering experiences –

– Sitting on the dock for Doug Pagitt’s discussion about getting beyond Augustinian Christianity. It was so freeing to admit that there are historical lenses that shape our perception of faith and then actually talk about what our faith might look like it we removed those cultural assumptions.
– Silly (yet somewhat serious) discussions with other Emerging Women about upcoming EW gatherings. Something about discovering the sacred feminine by dancing nude under a full moon and about theology that happens in Vegas staying in Vegas… um, yeah..
– The Wednesday night sharing session that turned into a place for people to share their poetry.
– The African drum song that we sang together after serving each other communion outside under the changing trees.

I am glad I got to experience this Gathering. I did find it to be a safe place to share ones ideas without being attacked or automatically called a heretic. It was a welcoming group and a place of hope for those of us who believe that the emerging conversation is a valid and necessary expression of the Christian faith. I will try to reflect more on specific conversations I was involved with there as well as the “emerging women” side of it over the next few days.

For those of you who attended and help make this even happen – thank you for all you had to offer and the experience you helped make it be.

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I’m back – or how the President and Bono kept me up all night…

Posted on October 13, 2006July 7, 2025

Hey all – so I’m back from the Emergent Gathering in New Mexico. It was a great event and a very refreshing time. I found it very freeing to be around like minded people who could go deep in conversations. Not having to spend the entire conversation defining terms or defending why I’m not a heretic was a blessing since we could then talk about stuff that actually mattered. Anyway, a lot of great stuff happened and I promise to share more later – but I need time to process and recover from a physically, mentally, and emotionally intense week (as well as a late night last night).

Yesterday was a bit crazy. I flew back from NM yesterday and was lucky enough to get on an earlier standby flight. Well all flights into Chicago were delayed over 3 hours. Our pilot told us it was because of high winds and the travel reports on Orbitz blamed it on high congestion. People on the ground in Chicago said there were no winds. So we knew something was up. A flight attending finally told us that the real issue was that Air Force One was on the runway and no planes could land. Apparently Bush and Bono were meeting on the plane on the runway and shutting down the busiest airport in the country for a few hours!!! So planes all over the country were delayed, people missed their connections, the airlines had to spend tons of money in vouchers for new flights and hotels so they could have a meeting on the freaking runway. Not only that but apparently the policy of TSA is to LIE to the public about the real reason their flight is delayed. Needless to say it was a late night – if I hadn’t gotten on the “early” flight I wouldn’t have made it home until after 4am if at all.

Anyway – just had to share about that since I’m still too tired to really think and reflect. More will come later!

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Woman at the Well

Posted on October 7, 2006July 7, 2025

So I’m back from the Emerging Women East Coast Gathering and getting ready to go to the Emergent Gathering. Life is crazy, so I haven’t had much time to reflect on the experience. I posted a bit over at the Emerging Women blog, and hopefully a few other participants will post there as well.

The gathering was a great time of learning and growing. I really enjoyed the panel presentation/discussions of women of the Bible. The stories of women from the old and new testaments were retold in fresh and relevant ways. While I had heard all of those stories before I had never heard then told in a way where the women were the focus nor in ways that gave a message to women at all. Among others we heard of the Canaanite woman’s passionate love and protection of her child from a mother whose child had faced cancer, we looked at Lydia and explored systems of power and authority, we heard the lament of Tamar after her brother raped her, we saw the strength of Vashti to say no to a controlling man, and we heard of Lot’s daughters and mourned for children who are victims of the sex trade still today. My contribution to the discussion was a re-imagining of the story of the woman at the well told from her perspective. In the tradition of Jewish Midrash I explored her story and her cultural context to give her more of a voice and to challenge our default understanding of who she was. I’m posting it here for anyone interested in reading it:

The Woman at the Well

It was during the heat of the day when I finally made my way to the well. Trudging through the dust during that time of day is a pain, but over the years I had just grown too weary of the gossip and sidelong glances of the younger women who come during the cooler hours. I was tired of the “accidental” bumps which caused me to spill my water and the subsequent laughter. I’ve been through enough – I didn’t have to put up with any more.

Once I was like them. Laughing and coming to the well for a social hour. I was accepted. I was one of them. But that was before I was married 5 times. FIVE TIMES! Oh, it’s perfectly acceptable to marry twice, sometimes even three times, but five – no way. With five comes the gossip and the condemnation. They talk behind my back; they look at me as if I had a curse. What? Do they really think it was my fault?

I would have done anything to prevent my first husband’s death. I was young and I loved him. And it wasn’t my choice to marry his younger brother – the creepy one with the heavy hand. But I had to keep the family line pure and all that. It was my misfortune that I gave directions to that passing traveler. I know that as a woman I wasn’t supposed to talk to men outside my family – but he asked. Of course my husband didn’t see it that way and divorced me for speaking to him. They couldn’t of course really accuse me of adultery – I’d have been stoned if they had (Levitical law being so important to my people) – but I was tainted and the gossip began.

I was desperate then. I needed a place to live and food to eat. My family rejected me and as a woman I had no way to earn my own living – well, except by doing that, but I wasn’t that low no matter what everyone said. My next few husbands thought they were doing me a favor by marrying me – and I guess they were. I had food and shelter. By being married I didn’t have to pay the exorbitant Roman fines for being single. But those marriages ended miserably as well. They all divorced me and gave some reason – my barren womb, my poor cooking… and the gossip grew. Now I can’t deny I wasn’t relieved to be released from those marriages. They wore me out and used me – if women were permitted to divorce men I would have done it. The next guy wouldn’t even marry me – I was so tainted. But it’s food and shelter and he can be nice from time to time. But I had learned not to expect too much from men.

That’s why he surprised me that day at the well. I was wary when I approached the well that day and saw him there. I was alone and if he had heard any of the rumors about me, well, I wasn’t sure what he would do. Others hadn’t been too kind. But I needed water so I decided to ignore him – I’d learned my lesson about talking to strange men. So, when he spoke to me, I was shocked – and even more shocked to realize he was a Jew. What was a Jew doing slumming it here with the Samaritans? Most of them usually traveled 60 miles out of their way to avoid us. Well, at least I knew he wouldn’t try anything – he wouldn’t risk making himself unclean by touching me.

But he asked me for water and that blew me away. What was he up to? Jewish men did not talk to Samaritans, much less Samaritan women. Nor did they take drinks of water from us. My first thought was that he must be a Roman collaborator – corrupted by their loose ways – away from following the standards of the Law. But he started talking about religion – about living water and true worship. I’d been around long enough to know a few things about religion – or at least, the things that separated us from the Jews. This man was a Jew, but he was different. He talked about a bigger faith, about worshipping in spirit. It was all new to me and the passion with which he talked about it intrigued me. But then he reached out to me – he showed me pity. Not the controlling pity that men had shown before – he seemed to truly feel sorrow at my lot in life and sympathized with my current need to live unmarried. It hit me then that he loved me – not in the ways that others have claimed to love me – but in a way that resonated with the love mentioned as a part of worship. A love that heals instead of hurts.

And then he said the words that had been whispering though my mind – he claimed to be the Messiah. The Messiah, the Anointed One, the hope for all of us! And here he was, talking to me, a woman, about worship.

But right then the men he was traveling with returned and most of them couldn’t hide their shock at seeing him converse with me. I was afraid they would drag him away – but I wanted to hear more from him. I wanted others to hear more. So I ran back into town, completely forgetting my water jug, to tell whoever I could find about him. It didn’t matter who I talked to – man or woman, the gossips – I just had to tell them about this man, the Messiah.

It makes me laugh looking back at those first attempts at telling others about Jesus. I’m sure my incoherent ramblings blurted to people who had shunned me for years must have seemed crazy – but I had to get the news out. Oh sure, some of the townsfolk made it a point to tell me that they chose to follow Christ because they saw him themselves and not because of anything I said. But old prejudices and fears die hard.

It was from that point that my life changed. No matter what the cost, I had to tell others about Jesus the Messiah. And after that first bumbling attempt my confidence grew. I broke free of my culture and as a woman talked to whoever I could about Jesus and his message. Of course, not everyone approved of my choice – John didn’t even include my name in his telling of the story. But after the resurrection I was baptized Photina – a name meaning “enlightened one”, and I was hailed as an equal to the apostles. I traveled far and wide to spread the way of Christ. Once even, when Nero had imprisoned me, he sent his daughter to pull me away from my faith with the temptation of luxury and riches. But instead, I shared the good news with her, and she chose to follow Jesus too.

It is amazing to look back at how Jesus changed my life. I was hopeless and outcast and he gave my life a purpose. He freed me from the place I as a woman had been condemned to, and gave me permission to tell others about him. Yes, I know some hear my story and take comfort in Jesus’ ability to forgive and change notorious sinners; but I know the change that occurred in my life was bigger than that. He gave me hope and a purpose and he turned our world upside down in letting me, a woman, have a prophetic voice in spreading his message.

Who am I? I am the Samaritan woman at the well. The first evangelist.

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I Read the News Today…

Posted on October 5, 2006July 7, 2025

So I just got a call from my mom telling me that one of my closest friends from high school was killed last week when he was hit by a car as he crossed a cross walk. Read about it here He was in grad school at the University of Arizona, and I didn’t even know it.

I met Tim Morris in 6th grade after my family moved to Austin. We went to the same church and through jr. high and high school were close friends. By our junior and senior years we would do everything together. We had a lot of interests in common and generally had fun together. We were even each others default friend date to events and dances.

We went to different colleges and a couple years into college Tim “came out of the closet.” It really wasn’t a surprise to me, but it shocked a lot of our church friends. Perhaps because of those reactions and the stir it caused at our conservative church, Tim distanced himself from us – all of us. The last time I saw him was at my wedding open house nearly 7 years ago. And of all the people I lost touch with from high school, he was the one I always wished I could find again. I wondered if he assumed I condemned him. I wanted to get back in touch, find him, assure him I still wanted to be friends – but as time pasted the weirder it got and I did nothing. I had no clue he was in Arizona. And now he’s dead. I wish I had tried to find him, to let him know his choices didn’t matter to me – and now its too late. I’m sorry Tim.

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Thoughts for the Moment

Posted on September 30, 2006July 7, 2025

Hey world (or the small slice of it that reads this blog…)

So I’m in the middle of my super psycho three weeks. We spent part of this past week down with family at South Padre Island Texas. I had a great time. Being with family was wonderful and the warm beach weather was great. Mike and Emma got food poisoning on the trip and so had some miserable days (and a really really long flight back – you don’t even want to know how bad I smelled after being hit with multiple types of body fluids) Emma is still trying to get back to normal, but is a lot better. I’ll try to post some of the fun pictures (chasing seagulls…) later.

I leave tomorrow for the Emerging Women East Coast Gathering. I’m really excited to meet a lot of the women and converse with them. I’m “presenting” on the Samaritan women, Deconstructing what has come before, and Feminine metaphors for God. I’m a bit nervous and feel totally unprepared. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

Then the next week I’m going to the Emergent Gathering in New Mexico. This should be an amazing time. I may be leading a session on emerging women – we’re still working out the details. So I’m sure I’ll have a lot to report on after all this travel.

In other life events, I’ve been reading all of Anne Bishops novels. I just finished her World of the Fae series. It had a lot of themes about women and the fear of women that leads to oppression. They are good reads, so if you like fantasy novels I highly recommend her books.

Also I mini rant… why do some people think that they are above to rules and norms of society??? on the flight back from Texas we were sitting on the front row of a Southwest flight (best place if you have kids). In that row was another mom and little boy and then an elderly man. The man had to be at least 70, dressed in a suit. Throughout the flight, he continued to make calls using his cell phone (a big no-no on airplanes). Then he pulls out a PLAYBOY magazine to read – where everyone (including the young boy next to him) could see it. So where does he think he gets the right to ignore the rules and norms of society? He scared me – I made all types of judgements about him and it frightened me to think of the number of creeps out there who are like him… anyway, just thought I’d share…

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Julie Clawson

Julie Clawson
[email protected]
Writer, mother, dreamer, storyteller...

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"Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise." - Sylvia Plath

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