Julie Clawson - onehandclapping

Gurus, Mentors, and Guides

Posted on July 6, 2007July 9, 2025

I’ve recently started reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and am thoroughly enjoying it. The book is a chronicle of the year the author spent traveling to Italy, India, and Indonesia. The stories are witty and the musings about life, love, language, faith and food are well worth the read. One bit that struck me today was her description of following a guru. That’s right a guru. She went to an ashram in India to study under a particular guru. The author fully admits how weird such a thing sounds to our American sensibilities. To put something as personal and private as our faith into the hands of another person is not a normal part of our typically protestant experience. In fact we look down on people who follow gurus as deluded hippies (or something of that sort). And yet the author overcame all of those stereotypes, found a guru, and went to India to study her way of yoga. Interesting.

Besides a few painful classes at the community rec center, I have never done much yoga (not that I wouldn’t like to try) and any that I have done has been of the strictly physical sort (hatha yoga I think it is). I am not looking for a yoga guru (although apparently there were a number of Christians at the ashram), but the concept itself is appealing.

A guru. A mentor. A guide.

All good things even to us protestant believers. I think the issues arise when the concept of a person attracting a following comes into play. That scares us. We shy away from personality cults, fear leaders being placed on pedestals, and ignore whatever a person has to say if they get too popular. I see all the dangers in such things, but should someone be dismissed as a guide just because a lot of other people see them as a potential guide as well? If they have the ability to inspire, teach, and mentor is it really all that bad to want to study under them? I see this all the time in the emerging church. For just reading McLaren or listening to Rob Bell, I am told that I care more about them than about God. So respecting someone as a teacher and wanting to learn from them means I worship them above God? Oh, I’ve seen personality cults form and devotion that borders on idolatry even in the emerging church (and yes even of those two men). But can’t I desire to learn from a person I respect without being accused of idol worship? There has to be a balance there.

So, why am I rambling and ruminating about such things. I think I’m just frustrated in my inability to find a person I can see as a mentor. Oh there are a number of authors, pastors, and bloggers that I respect and look to for a sort of guidance. I greatly appreciate that input in my life. But unlike in the yoga guru system, such leaders wouldn’t dream of taking on disciples (especially not a woman, but that’s another issue). I could pay a lot of money for a spiritual director, but while she may function as a guide, the personal connection gets mired in the business transaction. It is an odd predicament of wanting a mentor, but not knowing anyone who could fit that role. I think that’s why I liked reading about the concept of following a guru. There’s this ready made system in place where one can choose a person to guide them who has no issues taking on pupils/disciples. It’s a very convenient method of mentorship.

Eight Random Things

Posted on July 5, 2007July 9, 2025

As I continue to post silly personal things…

So Mike tagged me in the 8 Random Things About Me Meme. I think he did it with malicious glee since he hates the things. The official rules for this one are –

The rules of getting tagged are simple. If you get tagged…

* Post eight random facts about yourself.
* Tag eight other bloggers (hopefully those who haven’t been tagged before).
* Post these rules.

I always feel really stupid trying to think of eight (or seven or five) facts about myself. So I tried to think up a theme to play along with. I toyed with the idea of crazy stuff that has happened to me in foreign places (mugged in Naples, car stolen in Barcelona, certain incidents with tequila in Cancun), but there weren’t quite enough to make eight (that I am willing to share). I already did the seven books I’m reading now one and a list of my favorite books would just be too hard. But I like the book theme. So I’m going to go with the “Eight Female Fictional Characters that I have Most Wanted to Be.” Okay, I’m sure that it says something weird about my personality and that I have serious issues that I want to be like characters in books, but I do it anyway (and not all of these are from when I was a kid!). I never wanted to be the typical choices either. All my friends when I was a kid went around pretending to be Princess Leia, Anne of Green Gables, or Madonna (yes it was the 80’s), but I chose lesser known characters to emulate. (I probably would have wanted to be like Anne of Green Gables, but I think I was too much like her to begin with…)

So here my list of really cool female characters I aspired to be –

1. Betsy. There are two types of women in the world. Those who grew up loving the Betsy/Tacy books by Maud Hart Lovelace and those who have never heard of them. I would check these books out of the library over and over again during my childhood (they have since been reprinted so I have my own copies now). Set in pre-WW1 Minnesota, they tell the story of a girl, Betsy, as she grows up and sees her world expand into the modern era. She is outgoing and loves to write. Her experiences as a teenager, falling in love, and traveling abroad shaped my conceptions of life. Part of me truly thought that high school would hold dances where one filled out dance cards and selected who one danced the waltz with. Or that hanging out with friends for entertainment involved reading Shakespeare, writing stories, and singing around a piano. I think I was most shocked by traveling to Europe when I was 12 and realizing that it was a modern as the USA. Not that I really expected different, but the descriptions I had come to know through reading Betsy and the Great World were ingrained in my mind. I loved Betsy because she was a writer – my dream as a child. She also had no limits. She was encouraged to live life fully – to pursue her dreams, to travel, to follow her heart. I wanted to grow up and be like her.

2. Meg from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle. Another go to again and again book from my childhood. Meg was smart, but not in the way that fit the system. I always did exactly what was expected of me and did it well. I wanted to do more than that – to be creatively intelligent and find myself on adventures. Meg wasn’t a fearless hero, but she never gave up and did things out of a love for her family.

3. Aerin from The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley. The quirky misfit princess who trains herself to become a dragonslayer and saved her Kingdom. Although most of my Christian friends have issues with her because of the way her relations play out in the book, I still love her for her courage. She didn’t fit the expectations of a princess and never gave up trying to discover who she really was. I love that she broke the mold and took on the most dangerous tasks because she was the only one who could.

4. Vicki Austin from Madeleine L’Engles’ Austin Family books, especially A Ring of Endless Light. So yes, the books about her are total coming of age, discovering oneself, and falling in love books. I so wanted to be Vicki when I was in 5th grade. She was a more normal person than the others on this list, but she got to hang out with family and friends that sat around discussing literature and philosophy. She also got to help do scientific observations of dolphins (this was my I want to be a marine biologist so I can swim with dolphins phase – 5th grade remember…). I wanted a life like hers – full of neat experiences and good conversations.

5. Mara Jade from the Star Wars Expanded Universe created by master Star Wars writer Timothy Zahn. So she is just an awesome, super sexy, totally independent, Jedi Master (who ends up marrying Luke Skywalker). The part of me that wants to be a kick-butt I’m going to save the world type of girl loves Mara Jade (same reason I love Sydney Bristow, but I’m sticking to books here). She’s fun and the exact opposite of my conflict avoiding pacifist nature. But then again if you know me only as Mara Jade from The Ooze, the description sorta fits.

6. Eowyn from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Another kickbutt girl who is determined to fight for what she believes in. I love her passion even as I understand her uncertainty in who she is as a person (even though I hate the way Tolkien resolved her character in the end – he CANNOT write women). I share her fears of life becoming “A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire.” She appeals to the part of me that wants to make a difference in this world.

7. Liadan from Son of the Shadows Book 2 of The Sevenwaters Trilogy by Juliet Marillier. This book is a retelling of the Tam Lin tale – a Scottish poem where the damsel rescues the prince. I love most Tan Lin based novels, but mix in Celtic healing lore and ancient tribal factions, and this becomes more than just a feminist love story. The pagany side of me enjoys stories of wise women who are attuned to the earth and the natural power of plants. I like the idea of that sort of connection and would enjoy having that sort of knowledge.

8. Phedre from Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Legacy series. Um. If you’ve read the books, you may understand. If you haven’t, I really don’t want to explain.

Update – The picture is me as Eowyn back in 2003

As for tagging. I’ll leave it open. It you want to be tagged (for 8 Random Things or 8 Characters that you Want To Be…), consider yourself tagged. Just let me know if you decide to continue the meme.

July 4

Posted on July 4, 2007July 9, 2025

So its Empire Worship Day here in the USA. Now I really don’t have an issue with the idea of a national holiday (Holy Day???) and I generally enjoy the bbqs, ice cream socials, and fireworks. But generally this day is a day of idolatry. Even in our churches pledges are said to a foreign god, hymn are sung to a temporal entity, and our citizenship to this country is promoted far above our citizenship to the Kingdom of God. (this article is a must read each year at this time). So this year it was refreshing for the first time in recent memory not to have to engage in idolatry just because I wanted to attend church around July 4. I will not be attending the local fireworks fest where last year the Rebel flag seemed as prominent as the US flag. I will not be twisting the truth and thanking the troops for my freedom to not have to wear a burka. I will continue to be offended by the “If you can read this in English thank a Vet” and the “Does my American Flag Offend You? Call 1-800- LEAVE THE USA” bumper stickers I’ve seen recently. I will try to avoid the worst displays of civil religion and propaganda. Sure I’ll watch the fireworks (not like my neighbors haven’t been setting some off every night for the last two weeks…), maybe even cook some slab of meat out on the grill but I won’t check my mind, my beliefs, and my values at the door in patriotic fervor.

But I will take the historical perspective and reflect on the Declaration of Independence. It’s interesting to read the full thing (not just the first part) where all the grievances against King George are listed. It’s hard to tell which George they are being leveled against and not so hard to understand why our presence isn’t welcome in Iraq (ht- Benjamin Ady). Included in the list as to why the USA engaged in violent revolution against this tyrant are –

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Happy Fourth of July.

Books

Posted on June 30, 2007July 8, 2025

So I mentioned in my last post about wondering what I will be reading next. Then I saw this fun meme with a blanket tag over at Emerging Grace and Calacirian and decided to play. The point is to list 7 of the books I’m reading now (because you can tell about someone by the books they’re reading). Well, I technically haven’t started any of these, but they are what will be read very very soon.

1. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. For the Emerging Women book club July discussion.

2. The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. For our church’s Vision Team meeting this Thursday. I guess I should start it soon…

3. Chasing Sophia by Lilian Calles Barger. It’s been recommended by a few people (including the author) as something I might like, so I’ll give it a go.

4. Justice in the Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson. I’ve been looking forward to this book for awhile and we just got an advance copy. There are days when living “justly” in the suburbs seems near impossible, so I’m interested in hearing their take on how it might be done.

And for the sci-fi fantasy…

5. Blade of Fortriu and The Well of Shades by Juliet Marillier. Books 2 and 3 in the Bridei Chronicles, an historical fantasy series that focuses on the Picts.

6. Exile by Aaron Allston and Sacrifice by Karen Traviss. Books 4 and 5 in the Star Wars: Legacy of the Force series. I’ve been trying to avoid reading spoilers about the fate of Mara Jade in book 5…

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling. Just three more weeks, just three more weeks…

And to continue the meme – if you read this and want to play, consider yourself tagged. Just let me know you played!

We Don’t Serve Their Kind Here

Posted on June 24, 2007July 8, 2025

Okay serious rant to follow (Karen – here’s the terrible two “no’s” and stubborn independence you mentioned…). What is with our country moving towards more and more discrimination. Entire groups of people are being banned from restaurants and public places. Reminiscent of the days of segregation, signs are being put up banning a certain demographic from eating or swimming in certain places. But instead of signs proclaiming “Whites Only” or “No Colored People Allowed” these signs state “No Children Allowed.”

Apparently as the baby boomers kick their kids out of the house and more and more people are choosing to not have kids, they don’t want to be bothered by other people’s kids. They would rather not have to interact with that segment of the population and so are pushing for mandates and rules to protect themselves from children. I understand laws that prevent children from entering strip clubs or R rated movies, but this is going too far. It started in restaurants, private establishments that could discriminate as they choose. Then there were subdivisions (gated usually) that barred anyone under 18 from living there (and often even visiting). But now apparently public beaches in Illinois are banning children to meet the baby boomers’ demands for comfort. If this PUBLIC beach had put up signs banning women, or Mexicans, or Muslims there would be huge public outcry and an avalanche of lawsuits. But the ban on children is being met with praise and thanks for the opportunity for the self-center to not have to deal with that pesky and annoying minority – children.

And that is what children are – a voiceless minority that is generally despised because they are not adults. I’ve become increasingly annoyed by the death glares I get if I bring my toddler into certain stores or restaurants. I’m sick of always being seated in the far back corner by the kitchen in restaurants. But to be denied access because baby boomers are living up to their label of being the “me generation” is just too much. And this isn’t happening behind closed doors either. I’ve heard earfuls from empty nesters and the childless (usually bitchy bitter women at craft fairs) about how much they hate children. Stories of how they would spank strangers’ children because the mom obviously wasn’t going to give the kid the walloping they deserve for crying in a store. Or telling me that all restaurants should ban children or at least parents refrain from exposing other people to their children by eating out. As one lady put it, places like McDonald’s exist if parents insist on eating out with kids. So abuse of children and encouraging childhood obesity are better options that making a self-centered adult spend time in the presence of a child.

My response – GET OVER YOURSELVES! Stop being self-centered jerks. Life is not all about you. Stop discriminating against children because you are too lazy to understand them or too selfish to care. Just FYI – I’ll will continue to take my child out to eat and to play at the beach and no I won’t hit them if they get too loud. I will not give into segregation and will do my best to be an advocate for the voiceless.

(amazingly enough I agree with Al Mohler on this one. Age segregated communities, churches, or societies are not healthy)

My Blog Turns 2!

Posted on June 23, 2007July 8, 2025

So my blog officially turns two today. I know that in the grand scheme of the blogworld that isn’t very old, but its been quite a journey for me. I think the process started a little over two years ago when I attended the 2005 Emergent Gathering in Nashville. We had recently left our jobs at our old church, had no new jobs lined up, and had a three month old baby. At the time – after spending nearly 4 months on strict bedrest (and drugs that prevented me from reading) and not having a full night’s sleep since Emma was born, I was feeling very disconnected. I didn’t think I would ever have functioning use of my brain again. At the Convention, I attended the Emerging Women’s luncheon and ended up at a table with a bunch of women who were in seminary. They spent the whole lunch discussing the conversations they were having on their blogs. I felt so stupid. I could barely put a coherent sentence together much less have anything meaningful to say on a blog. I desperately wanted to be part of the conversation, but didn’t think I had the right or ability to.

Fast forward a couple of months. By then I had realized that nursing a baby gave me large amounts of time to read. Granted, it was only fiction, but I was reading again. So as not to drive Mike nuts by telling him about books he had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, I started a blog. The idea was to post reviews, summaries, and thoughts about the books I was reading. I did do that, occasionally, but mostly I just posted fun blog things and pictures of Emma. From time to time I wanted to post my thoughts on certain topics, but was honestly too afraid. I was afraid of what the people who knew me would think about what I would write (obviously I never spoke my ideas aloud). So this blog remained a random picture blog with the occasional book review thrown in for about a year.

What changed things though was when I attended the Emerging Women ReGathering in April of 2006. One of the themes of that gathering was to explore how women (even in the Emerging Church) have often not been allowed (by others and ourselves) to have a voice. The weekend provided times of healing and encouragement to speak up in whatever was we can. I left having made a personal commitment to use my voice by putting my thoughts into writing – no matter how jumbled or incoherent they may at times be. I’m not saying that my writing is good or all that meaningful, just that it is a vehicle for my voice and a means to develop and refine my thoughts.

So this blog has been part of my journey of awakening and self-discovery the last couple of years. I have enjoyed crafting it and plan on continuing to express my thoughts through random reviews, reflections, and rants. Who knows where (if anywhere) this will lead, but for now I’m enjoying the journey.

Headlines for the Week

Posted on June 22, 2007July 8, 2025

Headlines of interest from this past week, or basically what my news feeds give me and I actually click on. Yes I am part of the uninformed masses… –

CNN – 100-foot Andes Lake Disappears – apparently the 5 acre, 100-foot deep, glacial lake disappeared between March and the end of May. Weird.

MSNBC – Rampaging Squirrel Injures 3 – Opening sentence – “An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.”

BBC – Alcohol banned in Aborginie areas – I’m sorry, but no matter how bad the issues are, this isn’t racist how?

Summer Solstice

Posted on June 21, 2007July 8, 2025

Today is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. The day when we are blessed with the most light all year long. I love that the focus of the solstices is light not darkness. Today we celebrate the abundance of light and the life if brings to the earth. We give thanks for the first fruits of harvest and take pleasure in the warm days of summer. The focus is not on the return of the darkness but on appreciation of the light. In winter when the darkness is at its greatest, we celebrate the return of the light. We rejoice that light will always overcome the darkness.

We celebrated the Solstice with the alternative parents group I am a part of with a picnic and bubble extravaganza. (what better way to celebrate anything than to have laughing toddlers chase bubbles!) Here is Emma enjoying the occasion.

Why Care?

Posted on June 20, 2007July 8, 2025

On Sunday morning this past weekend at the Jubilee conference we got to “worship” with spoken word protest poetry (you can find some of it here). One line that really struck me was, “our arms are raised, but our fists are open.” We raise our hands in worship, a symbol of our close connection to God and the depth of our personal piety, and yet we don’t raise our fists in protest of the injustices in the world. We are too lazy, too wrapped up in church events, or too afraid to get involved. Our “worship” is all about us and not about others. I am reminded of the passages from Isaiah where we’re told the kind of worship God desires –

Isaiah 1:15-17

When you spread out your hands in prayer,
I will hide my eyes from you;
even if you offer many prayers,
I will not listen.
Your hands are full of blood;
wash and make yourselves clean.
Take your evil deeds
out of my sight!
Stop doing wrong,
learn to do right!
Seek justice,
encourage the oppressed.
Defend the cause of the fatherless,
plead the case of the widow.

Isaiah 58:6

This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.

So while I am encouraged that the Emerging Church is becoming more and more aware of these issues, universal action still seems a long way off. I still encounter people who debate whether not not we should attempt to right the wrongs of the world. Or those that tell us not to get bogged down on the big issues, just focus on your everyday life. Or those who say all we need to do is pray and not have anything to do with politics ever. My response is that we need to get up off our knees and put our prayers into action. But how do we motivate people? Why should people care?

In a session this weekend one presenter listed the reasons why people should care about Debt Relief. I find these interesting and wonder if there are any more that can be added to the list.

1. It’s a moral issue and as people of faith/conscious we should care for others. We should be moved to effect change and love our neighbor. But if that isn’t enough to motivate us, there are a few other reasons –

1. Health concerns. If indebted countries continue to slash funds to heath services so that they can repay debt, disease will flourish. There has already been a significant rise in easily treatable/preventable diseases as a direct result of the reduction in doctors, nurses, and clinics. But there is also the potential (and we are seeing the beginnings of it) for deadly diseases to proliferate which will effect the whole world. If other countries can’t handle epidemics of TB, Avian flu, and AIDS the whole world will pay.

1. Environmental degradation. As countries that are forced to spend 80% of their budget on debt repayment scramble to find alternate sources of income, the environment is laid waste. Forests are clear cut, unsustainable crops are planted, pesticides are dumped into the environment, chemicals are dumped into rivers instead of disposed of properly. This destroys ecosystems and will result in a completely unlivable landscape down the road. Where will all the people go then or whose aid will they live on then?

To get the politicians (the ones in the position to affect change – i.e. clean up the messes they have made) to care, it takes the voters letting them know that care care. If the politicians know that they will face consequences if they don’t listen to their constituency, then they will work for change in order to save their own butts come election time.

What could you add to the list? Is it bad to focus on the natural consequences that will effect us personally if the plight of the other isn’t enough to move us to action? I would love to hear your thoughts.