Julie Clawson

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The Jewish Roots of Christianity

Posted on March 10, 2010July 11, 2025

I was intrigued recently over a story I saw on the news about a Chicago man who faces possible jail time for taking his daughter to church. Apparently in the custody settlement with his ex-wife (a Jew), Joseph Reyes (a Catholic) was barred from exposing this daughter to anything but the Jewish faith. He then very publicly took his daughter to church and is now facing potential jail time for that act. While strong arguments could be made in this particular case that this man acted like a jerk and that custody rulings are often unfair to fathers, what I find most fascinating is the argument he is using in his defense. Basically, Reyes argues that he did not break any court order since Catholicism is a derivative of Judaism. He asserts that he simply exposed his daughter to the teachings of the greatest Jewish rabbi ever.

I saw his lawyer make that assertion in a TV interview, and the reporter could barely hold it together, saying “what idiot fed you that line?” The lawyer simply said that most Christian theologians would say that Christianity is an offshoot of Judaism, to which the reporter said something along the lines of “good luck with that.”

On the human level, I wish these parents weren’t using their daughter as a pawn in their bitterness and revenge games. I also don’t claim to understand the struggles parents of differing traditions face in choosing how to expose their children to the diversity of their faiths. But on a theoretical level, I am interested in how this has played out. I know that the theological emphasis on the historical roots of Christianity is fairly recent, and that a willingness to see Jesus as the Jewish rabbi he was has been slow to emerge. But one would think there are enough of those cheesy “My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter” bumper stickers around that the wider culture would catch on that Christians are finally acknowledging our roots. I honestly don’t know of any Christian who wouldn’t say that our faith is based in Judaism, worships the same God, and treasures at least some of the same scriptures (it is a very different story when it comes to acknowledging the mutual roots of our faith with those who practice Islam).

Granted, most of the public perception of Christians is that of hate-filled crusaders fighting to keep away those that are not exactly like them. Since there is such a poor history in how Christians have interacted with Jews in the past, no wonder people would be surprised to hear a Christian claim roots in Judaism (especially for such manipulative ends). I doubt this case will spark real theological dialogue, but I find myself wondering what can (or should) be done to help promote our commonalities. Christianity cannot be understood apart from Judaism (wouldn’t exist apart from it). How can that best be discussed in the wider culture without prompting displays of incredulity?

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International Women’s Day

Posted on March 8, 2010July 11, 2025

Most countries around the world are celebrating a holiday today. While here in the United States we might have a few blog posts and an auxiliary lunch or two, other countries are hosting parades and setting aside time to honor women. For today, March 8, is International Women’s Day. A national holiday in some countries, this is the day set aside to mark the economic, political and social achievements of women. Of course, just mentioning the day’s existence prompts some to ask “well, why isn’t there an International Men’s Day?” In response I’d echo my mom’s reply when on Mother’s Day I would ask her “why isn’t there a kid’s day?” and she would say “because every other day is kid’s (men’s) day.”

But the fact remains, if women truly were treated as equals, valued for our contributions, respected for our ideas, and not assumed to be inferior or incapable in any way, then there would not need to be a day to bring attention to the achievements of women. If women commonly weren’t passed over for jobs, paid less for doing the same work as men, mocked for trying to get ahead, and told that they are only worthwhile as nurturers or pleasure-providers then perhaps the reminders of what women are capable of wouldn’t matter. I have of course seen great advances made in women being respected as whole people and have personally witnessed hearts soften as hatred melts away. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t still struggles.

All too often men feel threatened by the idea that women are capable and worthy of respect. To them, treating women as equals implies some sort of competition – taking away their opportunities and challenging their manhood. I’ve had guys tell me that women should be barred from working outside the home because they take jobs away from men who need them. I’ve been told that in suggesting that the specific qualities of a woman would be helpful in a certain job that I am preventing the best person for the job (a man) from getting it. That all women have to offer that men can’t is their victim status, so why bother with women at all. That God would never have allowed patriarchy to exist and men dominate women unless that was the way it was intended to be. Absurd as these arguments are, I still hear them on a regular basis.

I know a lot of this is based on cultural conditioning. Men are taught to define their very worth by their ability to have power over something. To treat women as equals to be respected challenges that conditioning. Unfortunately, the common response to this is not to unlearn those cultural lies, but to lash out against women and reassert power. Men who respect women, champion their achievements, and fight for their inclusion are condemned alongside women as being less than “real men.” It’s hard not to see why we still need a day to be reminded of what women have done and our ability to capably serve society. We know it’s not about competition, having power over others, or declaring a winner. We just wish certain men would get over seeing us as threats and start productively working for a better world together.

This desire on behalf of women is nothing new of course. I found it fascinating to read recently one of the first English feminist pamphlets written by a woman. Rachel Speght was the daughter of a Calvinist minister who later married another Calvinist minister who wasn’t afraid to encourage men to a more loving and Christ-like attitude towards women. In 1617, she published under her own name (rare for women in those times) A Mouzell for Melastomus (A Muzzle for the Evil-Mouth) in response to a booklet detailing why all women are corrupt and should be despised by Joseph Swetman (often referred to as “the woman-hater”). In it she implores men to stop showing ingratitude to God by treating the women around them as less than the equal partners God created them to be –

Let men therefore beware of all unthankfulness, but especially of the superlative ingratitude, that which is towards God, which is no way more palpably declared, then by the contemning of, and railing against women, which sin, of some men (if to be termed men) no doubt but God will one day avenge, when they shall plainly perceive, that it had been better for them to have been borne dumb and lame, then to have used their tongs and hands, the one is repugning, the other in writing against Gods handy work, their own flesh, women I mean, whom God hath made equal with themselves in dignity, both temporally and eternally, if they continue in the faith: which God for his mercy sake grant they always may, to the glory of their Creator, and comfort of their own souls, through Christ Amen.

This is my story. It is the world I still encounter and the plea I make every day. I echo the words written nearly 400 years ago asking that men stop mocking God in their treatment of women. We’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go. This is why I find International Women’s Day important – we still need these reminders and the encouragement that we can do more.

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Article in RELEVANT

Posted on March 2, 2010July 11, 2025

I have an article in the March/April issue of RELEVANT Magazine – “Everyday Justice: 10 Lifestyle Choices that Can Tangibly Help Others”

In it, I list ten very tangible ways people can be aware of the injustices in the world and do something about them. The list includes ideas from the book, Everyday Justice, but it also expands to topics beyond the book. I’ve had a couple of people comment though that they wished the article included more links and resources of where to find ethically sourced items. If people are interested, I’d direct you to the Everyday Justice site where I link to online organizations and stores that seek to promote justice and carry ethical items. I’ve also been trying to compile a list of where in Austin one can find fairly traded and ethical goods. It’s still being formed (and there is no way I could list all the coffee shops in town that serve fair trade), but here’s the list for now. I know this only helps Austin friends, but it’s a start –

In Austin
Austin Baby (S. Lamar) – baby items, personal care, and home goods
American Apparel (Guadalupe, S. Congress, Round Rock Outlets)- fairly made clothing
Central Market and select HEB stores (Lamar)- fair trade chocolate, sugar, teas, coffees, and spices
Costco (183) – select fair trade food items
Eco-Shoppe (Great Hills Tr)- environmentally friendly home goods, clothing, jewelry, and cleaning supplies
Ecowise (S. Congress) – home goods, cleaning supplies, clothing
Ten Thousand Villages (S. Congress) – all fair trade home goods, gifts, and select food items
UT Co-op (Guadalupe)- limited selection of fair trade logo wear
Wheatsville Co-op -(Guadalupe) fair trade food products, beauty supplies, and limited home goods
Whole Earth Provision Company (N.Lamar, SanAntonio, 290) – select fairly made clothing and shoes
Whole Foods (N. Lamar, 183) – fair trade food options, home goods, beauty products, and gifts
World Market(multiple locations) – limited selection of fairly traded food and gift items

Various Coffee shops and restaurants – like Austin Roasting Company, Kerbey Lane, Ruta Maya, Genuine Joes, Tacodeli, Cafe Pacha, Fair Bean Coffee, Terra Burger, Progress Coffee, Zhi Tea, Texas Coffee Traders

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Women, Humility, and Worth

Posted on February 23, 2010July 11, 2025

I knew I was dreaming when Michelle Obama sat down across from me. I was wearing a formal dress sitting on one of the tall barstools at our local pub, in the quiet back corner near the dartboard. And then Michelle Obama joined me at the table and I started telling her all about my book. Halfway through explaining to her about human trafficking, I thought to myself “I must sound like a complete idiot, trying to tell the First Lady about something I am sure she knows far more about that I do.” And then the self-loathing started as I realized (while still dreaming) that even in my dreams I second-guess myself and feel like an impostor. And I wondered, why do I have to be pathetic even in my dreams?

Forbes Magazine recently posted an article on the high numbers of professional women who constantly feel like they will be called out at any moment as frauds. They are convinced that they are nowhere near as intelligent as everyone seems to think they are and so it is only a matter of time before they are revealed as frauds. The Forbes article of course pointed out how this self-doubt can be detrimental to the success of the business as a whole since when women feel like frauds they are less likely to seize opportunities presented to them. Impostor syndrome causes women to dismiss praise, add disclaimers to their statements, and constantly feel less intelligent or mature than their peers.

In short, to mirror the qualities and virtues of a nice and humble Christian girl.

So while business magazines list the dangers of women being plagued with impostor syndrome, I don’t hear it talked about often in church circles. Self-loathing among women is common, but often it seems that the most vulnerable we can be with each other in Christian circles is to admit to the surface issues. “I’m ugly” or “I’m fat” are safe struggles we can share with each other. As hard as it may be to admit those feelings, at some point we realize that there isn’t a woman out there who doesn’t feel the exact same way. We can dismiss those issues as lies our culture imposes upon us and find affirmation and healing in the love of Jesus (or something like that). But it’s harder to admit to being plagued by self-doubt issues like “I’m not smart enough” or “I’m not successful enough” in a church culture where humility is considered a virtue and women are discouraged from being successful to begin with. So in addition to being scared of being called-out as frauds, in the church we fear being called-out as prideful and ungrateful if we are honest with our struggles.

Many feminist theologians though believe that while pride may be the common sin of men, for women our sin is lack of confidence. Instead of trying to make ourselves into God, we feel so unworthy that we fail to give all of our gifts to God and this world. And yet, we still are instructed over and over again in how to be humble – resulting in women staying silent out of fear of being assertive (prideful), putting disparaging disclaimers before all of our ideas, and shutting ourselves out of opportunities for success, pleasure, friendship, and service because we feel like it would be too forward of us to assume we are equal to interacting fully with our peers.

I know this isn’t everyone’s story, but I’ve seen it often enough to know it’s out there. And it’s generally a story told at the point of utter brokenness – when people are beyond having expectations matter anymore. It’s disturbing though that instead of helping people step confidently into who they were created to be, the church often instead brings people to the breaking point where they can be real only as they are ready to walk away from the church itself. There needs to be a better space for true vulnerability and for re-framing our understanding of virtue. Women shouldn’t be praised for feeling unworthy or for denying that God gave them gifts. We shouldn’t have to be conflicted between following God according to the world’s definition and actually following God. This is about more than confidence and self-worth; it’s about being truthful – something I hope could actually be valued in the church.

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Wheaton and Evangelical Trends

Posted on February 21, 2010July 11, 2025

I admit I’m disappointed in Wheaton College’s choice of Philip Ryken as their new President, but I guess I am not really surprised. I was one of the alumni that were encouraging the college to move forward as an institution with academic integrity in our increasingly globalized world by choosing a woman or a minority to head the college during these turbulent times. To remain a prophetic and respected voice within the Christian community, in my opinion the college needed the specific qualifications of those who have lived on the margins of power and privilege within the religious world. These voices are no longer minority voices and can no longer be silenced and ignored within the Christian community. Wheaton would have benefited from proactively and symbolically embracing the realities of our changing world. Instead they chose a leader to navigate them into this future who actively resists listening to minority voices and insists on women having no voice in the church. It is disappointing, and I feel that Wheaton cannot remain the “Harvard of the evangelical world” in choosing such a path. But, like I said, it isn’t surprising.

Philip Ryken fit a role. The college wanted someone conservative and Reformed and he fit that part. What I find interesting is that a majority of the Twitter responses I am reading about his selection are along the lines of “Praise God! Wheaton will remain faithful to orthodox Christian truth!” I find it most interesting because when I mentioned the selection of Ryken to my conservative evangelical family and friends, their response was “why is Wheaton abandoning biblical truth in this way?”

I live in Texas where Dispensationalism is still in favor. Fifteen years ago when I chose to attend Wheaton one of the main reasons I chose the college was because with dispensational Duane Litfin at the helm, I (and my parents) were sure the college would uphold “orthodox biblical Christianity.” As we saw it, Christianity as interpreted by Ryrie, Scofield, and Moody was the one true way it had always been forever and ever amen. And at the time, just a few years after Litfin’s appointment, so did most of the evangelical world. In the 1980’s and 90’s Dispensationalism was the trendy pet theology of evangelicals (although we referred to it simply as “Absolute Unchanging Truth”). The time was ripe for Wheaton – the voice of the evangelical world – to choose a dispensationalist to lead them (and for science fiction books about the end times (presented as biblical truth of course) to become nationwide bestsellers).

But a lot changes in fifteen years. Dispensationalism is no longer the precious darling of the evangelical church. Absolute Unchanging Truth has shifted and a different faction is now in favor. No longer are our views of the end times and the Holy Spirit the litmus tests of our faith, but instead whether or not we sign the dotted line in agreement with Calvin and penal substitutionary atonement. Not that Reformed theology is necessarily anything new, it just has never been so popular to be young, restless, dogmatic, opposed to women, and reformed. The shift to following this trend is so pervasive, that apart from my Texas dispensationalist friends who are horrified at Ryken’s appointment, most evangelicals are praising God that “orthodox Christian truth” will be upheld at Wheaton. If I had stopped to think about these popular trends in evangelicalism, I should have expected the appointment of someone like Ryken. (actually I did briefly consider it, but thought they would go with a different alum and Reformed celebrity – John Piper. But I quickly suppressed thinking about that possibility).

The thing is, Wheaton is no stranger to riding the shifting waves of “orthodox Christianity.” The college was founded as a Wesleyan institution, and became Wheaton College in 1860 when abolitionist Jonathan Blanchard in his postmillennial social gospel passion dedicated the college “For Christ and His Kingdom.” The purpose of the college was to work for the kingdom of God here on earth – to right the wrong of slavery and establish on earth as it is in heaven. But of course that particular theological perspective fell into disfavor after the First World War. The college even changed its Statement of Faith to then support premillennial eschatology. When I attended, I was told that the school motto “For Christ and his Kingdom” referred strictly to heaven, since the Kingdom of God could never actually be among us. So I really should not be surprised that the college once again is changing its theology by affirming the reigning popular theory of the day (which of course will always be designated “historic orthodox Christianity”).

I’m personally no longer Dispensational, and I’ve never been Reformed, so those are not my orthodoxies – which perhaps helps me have a bit of perspective on this event. So like I said – I’m not really surprised, but I am disappointed.

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Reconnecting with Our Food

Posted on February 19, 2010July 11, 2025

Farming is trendy again thanks to Facebook.  The simulation game Farmville allows the otherwise farming ignorant to participate in the growing and caring of plants and animals.  It’s addicting and popular, and I’ve even heard it lauded as a great tool for connecting children to the actual sources of our food.

It’s no secret that in modern America, we are disconnected from the food we eat.  Most kids couldn’t tell you where food comes from beyond the grocery store shelves.  Hence, the excitement on the part of some that a computer game is helping kids understand that the food we eat is grown.  On farms.  While I’m not sure that the immediate gratification of harvesting a virtual crop connects children with the earth in quite the same way as actually getting dirt under their fingernails, I resonate with the need to alter this disconnect we have with food.

I have friends who will eat chicken or steak as long as it is not on the bone since that reminds them that it came from an animal.  I’ve had parents at a petting zoo yell at me for mentioning to my daughter that the turkeys we were viewing were like the turkey we ate at Thanksgiving.  I’ve been told by others that they would rather just not know if there are pesticides on their produce or hormones in their meat.  We have disconnected ourselves so far from the sources of our food that we often not only don’t know what we are eating, but we are no longer aware of the implications of our food choices.

But just because we aren’t aware doesn’t mean that our choices don’t have impact.   Disconnecting ourselves from our food, disconnects us from the land, from the people growing our food, from the people receiving our food, and from our God who calls us to care for the earth.

God called creation good and commanded us to steward this earth.  But often we act as absent caretakers, outsourcing the care of the earth to others and losing that intimate connection with God.  This broken spirituality is reflected in our broken earth.  We allow others to destroy fields and groundwater with the excess use of chemical pesticides and fertilizers; we allow animals to be abused and pumped full of antibiotics and hormones; we allow field workers to be mistreated and exposed to hazardous working conditions.  Our food choices have consequences even if we are unaware of the problems they are causing.

I recently met two students who had visited relatives in Mexico for Christmas and were surprised to find oranges everywhere they went there.  The town they visited grows oranges, but that year the companies that buy their crops offered so little for their oranges that it wasn’t worth their effort to pick them.  So the workers earned nothing for their crop and hard work that year.   The students for the first time saw their connection to the food they buy, realizing that buying oranges in the U.S. directly links them to the families they spent the holidays with.

Or consider rice.  Government subsidies encourage the production of more rice than we will ever need each year in America.  So the rice gets sold overseas, often very cheaply to countries where the U.S. has trade policies guaranteeing that imported U.S. goods will not have tariffs or taxes imposed on them.  When a local market gets flooded with cheap food from the U.S., native farmers get put out of business.  They can’t compete with the subsidized food and so the local food supply dwindles and the country becomes reliant on imported food.  When the cost of that food rises unexpectedly, like rice did in 2007, the local people can no longer afford to buy the imported goods and have no local alternatives to turn to.  In the case of Haiti this lead to people literally eating mud to assuage their hunger and taking to the streets in riots.

Or take the migrant workers in Michigan who send their young children out into the fields to pick blueberries because the wages they earn are not enough to sustain their family.  The field owners turn a blind eye, allowing the law to be broken by having six year olds pick the berries we buy in the store.  Or take the families living in the rural areas around factory farms.  When a home is surrounded by literally thousands of cows, it becomes impossible to play outside because the stench is so great.  The local rivers and streams are too full of excrement runoff to swim or fish in, and even the well-water gives local families diarrhea.  The antibiotics given to the cows make that runoff breeding grounds for antibiotic resistant bacteria, causing deadly and difficult to treat illnesses for families who are often too poor to pay the high medical bills.  These families are paying the full cost of the cheap meat we consume.

When we start to see that food has a larger story than just appearing on our grocery store shelves, we see that it connects us to this world.  From the land it grows on to the people who grow it to the people who eat it, food affects us.  If we desire to end our habits of disconnectedness these are the stories we need to know – for only when we understand that we are connected to habits that hurt God’s creation and his people can we start to make changes that help heal.

The simplest change we can make is to start choosing to eat food that is good.  By good, I mean food that doesn’t hurt the earth by dumping toxins, drugs, and disease into our fragile land and food that was produced and sold fairly.  This may involve buying organic or fairly traded foods, but it also might involve getting to know the people who produce your food.  So frequent local farmers markets and get to know the farmers.  Reconnect with the land yourself by growing some of your own food – even a few herbs on the kitchen counter or a tomato plant on the balcony can bring us closer to the cycles of life God called us to tend.  Being aware and choosing to eat what is good will require diligence, research, and sacrifice and it often requires us to simplify and give up the indulgences of cheap but harmful food.  That is all just part of being connected.

Beyond choosing to eat differently, long term changes in our food system are needed to bring lasting healing.  The point of food should not be to get what we enjoy as cheaply as possible, but to nourish all people.  We can support farming reform by encouraging the government to subsidize healthy food not just the crops used to make junk food.  We can tell companies that as consumers we care about how they treat their employees, their animals, and the earth.  We can campaign for trade policies that don’t just benefit American interests, but respect and support the needs of local economies worldwide.  And we can raise our children to be connected – to not need a computer game to tell them where their food comes from, to understand how to care for the earth and its people, to eat simply and healthily, and to be responsible global citizens.

Food is never just food – it connects us to life, to relationships, to the world.  Eating with an awareness of those connections restores our spiritual relationship with creation and provides opportunities for us to love our neighbors and follow God.  It is time to reconnect with our food.

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Preparing for Lent

Posted on February 16, 2010July 11, 2025

The point of Lent is not denial.

But for a long time I thought it was. Everything I heard about Lent revolved around the acts of self-denial. It was all about what object or habit one would give up and how hard it was to deny oneself of that thing. Of course that denial was meant to help one think about God and Christ’s sacrifice, but in truth the focus was always on the act of denial itself. The question always is, “what are you giving up for Lent?” as if that is what the season is about.

On one hand it’s understandable that we miss the point of Lent. In our religious traditions rituals and legalism are far easier to promote, understand, and implement than spirituality and faith. We can grasp rules. It is far easier to tell kids to obey rules than to explain to them why they should desire to act rightly. They then end up following the rules simply because the rules exist. When it comes to Lent we often do the same – denying ourselves something for the sake of denial. We give up chocolate or Facebook thinking that act of denial is the purpose of Lent. And we end up missing the point.

But Lent isn’t about denial, it is about transformation. It is the season in which we prepare to encounter Christ’s sacrifice by endeavoring to become more Christ like ourselves. Transformation is about letting ourselves be filled with God’s presence so that we can be shaped by God’s grace. Our acts of kenosis – denying ourselves in order to empty ourselves enough to allow God to fill us – are means to an end. They are disciplines that prepare us to be transformed. We deny ourselves so that we can be reborn as new creations – to live more fully as the Kingdom citizens God desires us to be.

So I am very tentative in choosing what disciplines I will follow during Lent to open myself up to God’s transforming power. I’ve discovered that for me personally, legalistic denial for the sake of denial often achieves the opposite purpose. Giving up coffee doesn’t make me a better follower of Christ, it just makes me more irritable and more of a bitch. Giving up Facebook doesn’t help me build community in the body of Christ; it simply helps me as a detached introverted person creep further into my shell. Those disciplines don’t assist me in emptying myself in order to let God in; they simply fill me with more of me.

I’ve come to learn that in order to become more fully the person God wants me to be, I instead need to make sacrifices that actually allow me to achieve those ends. Often those sacrifices are less about personal denial, and more about following disciplines that encourage me to love others more. In the past I’ve attempted to eat more ethically or shop fairly – which of course required discipline and sacrifice on my part (and a bit of denial as well), but the outcome of these outwardly focused changes was far more personally transformative than if I had just eliminated something from my life for forty days.

So for me the question for Lent is not “what am I giving up?” but instead “what can I do to allow God to transform me this season?” The answers to those questions might be the same for some people, for me changing the question shifted how I observed Lent. Whatever the case, I think it is important to understand what the ultimate purpose is behind why we engage in certain disciplines unless we miss their very point.

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I’m a heretic, so what?

Posted on February 14, 2010July 11, 2025

So I finally got around to reading Dan Brown’s latest book, The Lost Symbol. My point here isn’t to comment about the book – it was entertaining, I wasn’t expecting more. What I found intriguing through are the ways he managed to weave in comments directed at the people who freaked out about The Da Vinci Code. At various points in the book, he had Robert Langdon comment about the sorts of people who aren’t capable of seeing the world from another’s perspective and who cause trouble for those who think differently from them. It was cute, and not a very subtle response, but given the way he has been demonized, it had to be addressed.

I had read The Da Vinci Code before it got really popular (I was on a “intellectual thriller” reading kick at the time). A year or so later I heard the pastor at the church I worked at talking about an upcoming Sunday School series he was leading about how evil the book was. He was shocked to hear that I had actually read the book, since he had not and had no plans to read it (even as he taught a class about it). I soon learned that his was the typical response of many evangelical Americans. When confronted with an idea that is outside the way they had been taught to see the world, they engaged fight or flight – denounce the work as evil or protect themselves from being exposed to its ideas.

Hence Dan Brown’s asides in The Lost Symbol.

I don’t agree with all of Brown’s ideas in The Da Vinci Code or The Lost Symbol (that’s not my point here), but I appreciate how he started a conversation around topics that might otherwise remain hidden. There is truth in the fact that the church is driven by ideology. The Bible we have today was shaped by opinions of factions in the church. Systems of patriarchy marred the name of Mary Magdalene by suggesting then upholding as doctrine that she was a prostitute. With the way Bible history is taught (or isn’t) in churches and schools today, this side of the story gets forgotten as embarrassing history to the point that basic biblical scholarship is labeled shocking heresy by the average Christian. Whether or not one agrees with Brown’s ideas, he at least helped some people ask if perhaps their way of viewing the world isn’t the only way.

It’s when we are willing to think about our beliefs in those ways that we truly learn. Granted we might end up believing as we always have, or we might tweak our beliefs a little, or change them entirely. And while I understand the people that instinctually engage with fight or flight when presented with anything other, what I don’t understand are the people who go through the charade of pretending to engage with other ideas only to reassert their original belief because they feel like they have to. I read a book recently that did just that. It claimed to be a fresh new perspective for evangelicals on a controversial topic, and while it did a great job deconstructing why a new perspective is needed, in the end it simply reiterated the same old traditional answer. In that evangelical tradition only one answer on the topic is acceptable, and so instead of actually allowing the intellectual wrestling to actually inform his perspective, the author ignored everything he had written about and parroted back the one acceptable answer. It made no sense. It wasn’t intellectually honest. But it kept the author (and publisher) safe within the box of their tradition. It wasn’t about truth, it was about allegiance.

So that’s why I am beginning to care less and less about being labeled a heretic. The term has nothing to do with truth (as much as they accuse us postmodern of abandoning truth). It has everything to do with toeing the line of a particular tradition. Call it what you will – “orthodoxy” “historic Christianity” “biblical Christianity” – all it is is the box that you feel comfortable in and pledge allegiance to. People who look, think, and act like you are in and everyone else is out. And while I fully acknowledge the need for community and tradition and admit I have allegiances, when that box becomes a shield to defend against ever learning anything new or entering a conversation in order to grow, then I have no use for the box. So while I love and appreciate (to varying degrees) The Apostles’ Creed, Augustine, Martin Luther, Calvin, Barth, and McLaren, I’m not going to exchange my faith in the living transforming God in order to cement myself in their camps. I may be a heretical Barthian or C.S. Lewisian, but since that really isn’t the point of my faith, I no longer really care.

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The Bleeding Woman

Posted on February 9, 2010July 11, 2025

I love my church. And I love that it isn’t afraid to explore the difficult issues – and figure out how to do so in loving ways. We just finished a series that was designed to start the conversation about how the culture of patriarchy has harmed our faith. The point wasn’t to promote negativity, but to acknowledge wounds, remove the limits we have put on God, and move forward in more holistic and inclusive ways as a church.

This past Sunday we focused on how Jesus embraced women and other marginalized people – no matter who they were or what they had done he offered them a place at his table. We told these stories from the point of view of those Jesus reached out to and included. It was a beautiful and emotional service, as we affirmed that all were welcome and loved by Jesus and at our church. For it, I wrote a piece based on the story of the bleeding woman Jesus heals that I also wanted to share here. –

The Bleeding Woman

I’d gotten used to the bleeding. And the weakness that went along with it. But it was the loneliness that consumed me.

For twelve years, my body has unnaturally bled. At first I thought it was just my monthly courses run long, but then it didn’t stop. I tried to hide it from my family of course, smuggling out the dirty rags to wash down at the river. But nothing gets past my mother. When she found out she just gave me that look, you know the one, the one that told me that I was a complete failure – worthless. Whatever was she going to do with an unclean daughter?

At first they tried to take me to doctors. Always the Roman doctors, not the Jewish ones – they didn’t want it getting out in our community that I was unclean. The doctors were more than willing to take my parents’ money, but nothing they did helped. The bleeding just continued – and I grew weaker and weaker. When it got to the point that I was too weak to even help my mother with the chores, my father had the idea to marry me off as quickly as possible. I assume he knew that my condition would be discovered, but then I would be another man’s problem.

I’m surprised I survived the night my husband found out the truth. I think I passed out sometime after the third blow weak as I was. The next thing I knew he had thrown me at my father’s doorstep – demanding payment for the humiliation of having been given worthless goods. My father, of course, denied knowing anything at all – calling me a deceptive harlot, spitting in my face, and saying that I was no daughter of his.

Now everyone knew I was unclean. No one could touch me, and everything I touched or anywhere I sat immediately became unclean. No shopkeeper would allow me near his wares; no housewife would allow me to pause to catch my breath on her doorstep. I begged as best I could for the occasional bite of bread, as my condition even barred me from the profession most desperate women end up turning to. No one wanted me.

So like I said, I got used to the bleeding and the weakness, but the loneliness got to me. No one’s touched me for nearly twelve years. Oh, I’ve been spat upon and received the occasional kick from daring young boys – but no hugs, no shoulder to cry upon, no sister to help braid my hair. And it’s been that long since I’ve been allowed in the synagogue as well – to raise my voice in praise to God or hear the precious words of the Torah read. I am as invisible and worthless to God as I am to everyone else.

But then I heard rumors about a rabbi who could heal the sick and even raise people from the dead. Now, I’d been to my fair share of doctors and magicians who had claimed they could heal me – but somehow I knew this man was different. I don’t know how I knew, but something deep inside gave me hope that this time I could finally be well.

It took me a few days though to work up the courage to approach him. I knew I could never ask him outright for healing – I doubt any rabbi would heal a woman who broke the taboo of speaking in public to a man. And I was sure he would despise me for making him unclean if I even came near him. So I knew that my only option was to secretly approach him. If he truly was a holy miracle worker, just touching the hem of his cloak should be enough. I was good at slipping quietly through crowds; I just prayed my touch would go unnoticed.

I saw him hurry through the streets following one of the important synagogue leaders. His disciples were pushing the crowds away to help him through, but I knew that if I did not seize this opportunity, I may never get another chance. So I slipped through the crowds until I was close enough and then I reached out my hand and lightly brushed the edge of his cloak. And I felt a power course through me, I felt alive and full of a strength and energy I hadn’t felt in years. I knew I was healed. I wanted to shout for joy, I wanted to tell the whole town that I was clean again. But I knew no one would believe me, and I needed to quickly get away from this Jesus before he noticed me.

I was slipping away when I saw him stop in his tracks, and my heart sunk. He knew. He called out “who touched me?” His disciples laughed at him, they were in a crowd there were dozens of people touching him. But he asked it again and I knew my worst fears had been realized. I had risked it all for this one chance, and now I would be punished for my desperate attempt. I wondered if in his anger he would just whip me like the other men I had accidentally touched or if he would reverse my healing – condemning me to isolation for the rest of my life.

I knew I had no choice, so I threw myself at his feet, trembling in fear as I awaiting his punishment. I couldn’t even bear to look at him. I stammered out how I so desperately wanted to be well and how I knew that just touching his cloak would heal me, and that it did, that I was finally well. And I apologized over and over again for my brazen actions, hoping he would understand just a little why I dared make him unclean.

But then everything changed. You know when there’s that moment when your world shifts? This was it for me. He didn’t yell at me, he didn’t beat me. He didn’t even walk away in disgust. Instead he walked towards me and knelt down at my side. And then, and I will never forget this, he placed his hand on my shoulder and said “Daughter, your faith has healed you go in peace.” My own father had rejected me and no one had touched me in years, and here this rabbi blessed me and called me daughter. That touch, that word healed me more than just stopping the bleeding had. For the first time in years, I felt accepted and loved – I felt whole again.

Jesus looked past the names and labels that my culture had imposed upon me, and healed my wounds. He gave me a place at the table.

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Resting

Posted on January 29, 2010July 11, 2025

It’s been a crazy few weeks – between birthday celebrations, Mike’s intensive class, and sick kids. I’ve been away from the conversation here for the most part. And now Mike and I are leaving for a week for our tenth anniversary trip – just us, no kids. So I’m taking a brief rest – time to be away and just be.

I’ll see y’all when I get back.

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Julie Clawson

Julie Clawson
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Writer, mother, dreamer, storyteller...

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"Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise." - Sylvia Plath

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