Tag: feminism

Discovering Christian Feminism – Part 5

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This week as part of Rachel Held Evans’ One in Christ series I am posting the story of my journey to Christian Feminism – Read Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 and Part 4.

Even as I embraced the identity of a Christian feminist, I still encountered countless misunderstandings regarding what it meant to actually own that label. The fear and the ridicule remained, and even increased as people tried to grasp what it meant that I was a Christian and a feminist. I recall being in a small group once in a church where I self-identified as a feminist. Immediately one of the women in the group spat out at me, “Oh, so you’re a baby killer.” To her, nothing else I said mattered since she could label me according to what she thought she knew about feminists and therefore dismiss me. While I fully understand how intimately tied the abortion issue is to some strains of feminism, it continues to amaze me how that one controversial issue has been used to shut down the entire conversation regarding the freedom and worth of women in certain circles. Especially in the church, where abortion is often opposed, many women feel like they can’t explore what it means to develop their full potential as women because of the fear of being associated with abortion. Yet discovering the freedom that comes in Christ for women should not be restricted because of fear and misunderstandings. There is such a rich history of feminism that has nothing to do with abortion and that even opposes it, I just wish that full and diverse story could be better understood.

Other misunderstandings are a bit more disturbing. A few years ago I received an anonymous and rather creepy email from a guy who said he found it entertaining that I would write about feminism on my blog and be angry at men who beat their wives, commit adultery or generally look down upon the female segment of society. He asserted that the only valid reason I would be a feminist is because I must have been sexually assaulted as a child (I wasn’t), and that to get over my issues (and avoid becoming a lesbian) I must allow men to have sex with me every day to knock the feminist chip off my shoulder. Not exactly the sort of email I enjoy receiving. It would be easy to write this guy off as crazy, but over the years I’ve discovered that his perspective is not that uncommon. Those that can’t accept women as equals and who see us only as sex objects to be used for their entertainment honestly have no idea why women would dare strive for respect and equality. To them it is simply a sign of dysfunction, generally of the sexual sort.

Then there are others who, while they understand the message that women desire dignity and respect, believe women only do so out of a desire to make women the dominant sex. Patriarchy continues to encourage fear of feminism by spreading the lie that it is about dominance and not equality. The July 2010 issue of The Atlantic played on these fears as they titled a widely-read cover article highlighting the advancements of women “The End of Men,” implying that if women succeed it must be at the expense of men. And while I agree that for respect to flourish, patriarchal attitudes that denigrate women or privilege men at the expense of women will have to be sacrificed, those things are sins that need to be repented of and not the core aspects of male identity that some have argued they are.

None of these misunderstandings are what feminism is basically about. Wanting to release women from oppression, to allow her to be who God made her to be does not mean that others must be hurt in the process. These are fears and misunderstanding that are sadly encouraged in our culture, ensuring that feminism remains generally reviled. But as a Christ-follower who cares about truth (not to mention justice), I believe it is necessary to oppose these lies and dismantle misunderstandings with the light of reality. That’s why I no longer fear being called names like feminazi, I would just rather help others see that the message of freedom feminism offers is the exact opposite of Nazi Totalitarianism. But of course, not everyone agrees with that approach.

Some Christians believe that the negative connotations surrounding feminism are reason enough to shun the label. In our world that is often hyper-obsessed with labels, I see how this can be a good way to attempt to avoid confusion. Sadly though, what I often see is the baby being thrown out with the bathwater. When people reject the term feminist because of its negative associations, they often similarly try to distance themselves from the very things feminism stands for – even the good things. Christian writer Frederica Mathewes-Green, who once claimed the term feminist (and even served as Vice-President of Feminists for Life), often cites such connotations as one of the reasons she chose to distance herself from and eventually abandon feminism. As she explains it, she just couldn’t continue using a term that meant one thing to her and her friends and something drastically different to others.

I sympathize with her (and understand that this wasn’t the only reason she rejected feminism), but at the end of the day can’t I bring myself to agree. There are some labels I want to claim even if they have negative connotations for some. Like the label “Christian,” for instance. For a lot of people in this world the term Christian is synonymous with hatred, and often for good reasons. So even while I will from time to time use differing terms (like Christ-follower) to describe my faith, I am not going to abandon the label “Christian,” no matter how many negative things (both true and false) can be associated with it. I’ve come to feel the same way about feminism – there is too much good there, too much hope for women, to reject it out of hand.

Feminism is diverse just like Christianity is diverse. I appreciate the comment a woman left at my blog once regarding claiming the term feminist in light of this diversity – “All of that is precisely why I call myself a feminist – particularly in more conservative Christian circles. If I don’t self-identify as a feminist, then that allows people to maintain their stereotypes of feminists and who we are.” I went from fearing a term I didn’t really understand to finding hope and encouragement in its message. What I thought was a hurdle, preventing me from accepting a fully egalitarian position, actually gave me greater insight into how I could live out a faith that sought to bring freedom to the oppressed. Like the commenter on my blog, I choose to embrace the term because I saw the good in it – a good I want others to see as well.

I no longer think of “feminism” as the f-word or a term to be avoided, but a way of life to be embraced. A way of life that helps women break free of the cage of patriarchy and find the space to become whole.

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Discovering Christian Feminism – Part 4

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This week as part of Rachel Held Evans’ One in Christ series I am posting the story of my journey to Christian Feminism – Read Part 1, Part 2 , and Part 3.

Once I took the time to understand the history of feminism I found myself wondering if I was really a feminist or not. On one hand I agreed with the messages my predecessors had fought for. Yes, of course women should have the right to vote, of course we are more than sex objects, and of course we shouldn’t be kept from using the gifts and talents God has given us. I fully agreed that essentializing women as simply wombs and nurturers denied the complex reality and diversity of real people fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. I got that. And I had a huge new appreciation for the history of the fight for women’s equality – a history I had never heard before. (And I even majored in history in college!) I knew those stories should be told and girls taught that there was a rich history of intelligent and fascinating women who fought tirelessly for the very freedoms they now enjoy. It sickened me to know that patriarchy’s silencing of feminism was denying young girls access to some amazing role models.

But at the same time, I knew there were parts of feminism (or at least its stereotype) that just weren’t me. I don’t hate men. I don’t think women as a collective should rule over men, simply replacing a patriarchy with a matriarchy. And while many of the third wavers I encountered defined their empowerment as their ability to have sex whenever and with whoever they wanted, I just couldn’t personally go there. I’m all for embracing my sexuality with confidence, but as a result of commitment and relationship, not conquest or entertainment. Nor did I agree that a woman having control of her own body meant that she had to unquestioningly support abortion. I get that the issue is far more complicated than the extremes often allow it to be, and that the polarizing rhetoric of many pro-lifers often does little to actually help anything, but I remained convinced that abortion on demand as a default birth control choice wasn’t something I could morally support. And yet there were people telling me that the essence of being a feminist was to support “a woman’s right to choose.”

I wanted a third way. I wanted to be able to claim the name feminist, and all the beautiful things it stood for, without feeling like I had to accept the parts that didn’t represent me or my faith. Some may say that I was naïve – wanting my cake and to eat it too. But here was this movement, founded on Christian principles of love and justice, that sought to deliver freedom to the oppressed. Women were breaking free from lies that had held them back for centuries and were finally finding the space to be their true selves. I knew that freedom like that can only come from God; so, despite the ridicule and the misunderstandings and the parts I couldn’t affirm, I wanted to be a part of it.

What I discovered was that there were a whole lot of women who believed the same way, women who over time had come to claim the term “Christian Feminists.” This wasn’t some cheesy Christian subculture thing – feminism misappropriated and redefined, and then repackaged with a Christian label so it would be “safe for the whole family” or something. No, these were women (and men) who chose to be feminists because of their deep commitment to following Jesus. They believed that if, as Jesus said, he came to bring freedom to the oppressed, then that gift must extend to women as well. Through the power of Christ, who treated women with respect and shattered culture taboos by having them as disciples, women could be free from the cultural confines that prevented them from serving God or being treated as people created in the image of God. All my life I had been told that it was impossible to be a Christian and a feminist, and yet here I was reading hope-filled words from committed believers doing that very thing.

These Christian feminists took the Bible seriously and tirelessly advocated for an understanding of scripture and theology that didn’t assume the biases of patriarchy. They reminded the world that the feminist movement, like abolition, has its roots in Christian communities. And they helped me understand that feminism was not about a selfish attempt to claim entitlements for myself (as I had been told), but a powerful way to combat the evil of patriarchy that unjustly harmed women and silenced the voice of half of God’s children. I realized that given its diversity, feminism wasn’t just another box that I had to fit into. Feminism is about freedom to be who I was created to be – even as a woman. I might live that out differently than other feminists, but we were still working for the same cause. I just happened to root my feminism in my faith.

I even discovered a group called Feminists for Life, a pro-life group which argues that women deserve better than to feel pressured into terminating a pregnancy just so she can have a career or make life easier for people around her. Their mission is to change society so that the pressures of a freaked-out boyfriend, or an embarrassed family, or a woman-unfriendly workplace do not become the new cages that patriarchy creates for women. They often point out that many of the early feminist advocates like Susan B. Anthony were strongly opposed to abortion and fought the patriarchal systems that often pushed women towards abortion. As they saw it, any system that forces women to choose between following God’s call in her life and being a mother is just another vestige of patriarchy trying to maintain control over women. They helped me see that being pro-life was actually a feminist cause.

I slowly began to realize that feminism didn’t stand in opposition to my faith, it actually helped me live into my faith more fully.

To be concluded tomorrow

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Discovering Christian Feminism – Part 3

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This week as part of Rachel Held Evans’ One in Christ series I am posting the story of my journey to Christian Feminism – Read Part 1 and Part 2 here.

Cultural attitudes about women didn’t change overnight with the passage of women’s suffrage. For the first half of the twentieth century (and beyond), the dominant assumption was still that women’s place was in the home. (Indeed many of the first-wave suffragettes shrewdly played off of this ideology of female domesticity to argue that women needed the right to vote so they could better protect their homes and families from the evils of society.) It would require the practical realities of the Second World War for these Victorian ideals to be (temporarily) set aside as women flooded into the factories to keep this country running as the men marched off to war. As a result, feminism in this country began to shift, even though the old paradigm persisted. When Rosie the Riveter gave up her position in the factory at the end of the war, she did so in favor of the domestic life she had been told she should desire. The post-war years of prosperity, full of conveniences like electrical appliances and a car in every driveway, not to mention a newly built house in the suburbs complete with white picket fence, were sold as the new American dream. Picture the stereotype – a woman spending the day vacuuming in pearls who has dinner ready and a cocktail in hand to greet her husband with as he walks through the door. This was the life that women dreamed of – right?

The problem was that a whole generation of women had, for a few brief years, the opportunity to be more than the stereotype. They had used their gifts and talents, developed their creative side and used their intellect to keep this country running. That women were incapable of such tasks was no longer an argument that could be made. Having experienced a different path, some realized that perhaps this life of domesticity that everyone told them was their heart’s desire wasn’t really who they were made to be after all. Of course, society in general still was adamant that a woman’s place was in the home serving her husband and children. But some of these women weren’t even sure they wanted to have children, much less spend their days chasing around mini-Davy Crocketts or their summers on long road trips to Disneyland and the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately there were very few options for the woman who didn’t walk lock-step with what culture mandated she should be. Sales of anti-depressants went through the roof. And the second wave of feminism began.

It would be an overstatement to say that this second wave was entirely built upon the existential angst of the modern white American housewife, although that did help create an environment ripe for a cerebral movement exploring ideas of subjugation and oppression as well as basic civil rights for all. Around the world groups of people who were denied full equal standing in society were gathering together and demanding that they stop being treated as lesser human beings. In America this mostly manifested itself in the Civil Rights and Women’s Liberation movements. While this wave involved some political causes like the Equal Rights Amendment to guarantee equal social standing regardless of sex (this amendment was first introduced in 1921 and has yet to pass, despite repeated attempts), its main focus was on ending cultural inequalities and discrimination against women.

Women sought for the opportunity to pursue education, to work in whatever field they were gifted in, and to not be confined to the roles of mother and homemaker. They also spoke out against the habit of men controlling women by turning her into a sex object. In condemning pornography and the culture of rape (especially date rape) that was growing increasingly common, women demanded to be seen as real people and not just objects for men to use. But of course, how women thought these goals could best be accomplished differed widely, which is where a good deal of the controversy surrounding the contemporary feminist movement first arose.

For some women taking control of their bodies and not being forced into the role of mother led them to fight for birth control options including abortion (more on this later). To subvert the objectification of their bodies, some women choose to abandon the cultural trappings of femininity that they felt were imposed on them simply to make them into sex objects. So out went tight girdles, and painful high heels, and a few bras were set on fire for good measure as well. Other women reacted to patriarchy by painting men as the enemy. A backlash against men which asserted that women were far more capable of ruling the world became the mantra of some. Needless to say, the results were polarizing and the simple message that women should be treated as full human beings, worthy of respect, often got lost in the controversy. Unlike the Civil Rights movement which eventually gained general support in this country, feminism became something to mocked and reviled.

By the 1990’s the message of feminism had become nearly lost in all its baggage. While there were still a number of women diligently working to end discrimination and fighting for things like guaranteed equal pay for women, a hipper, young countermovement within feminism itself started to change the face of feminism. As Naomi Wolf describes it, in this shift, “The stereotype of feminists as asexual, hirsute Amazons in Birkenstocks that has reigned on campus for the past two decades has been replaced by a breezy vision of hip, smart young women.” Informed by postmodern and postcolonial thought, this group of women acknowledged that the needs of white middle class women don’t speak for all women. They started to explore diverse ideas of what it meant to be a woman – really getting into the ideas of gender, identity, and sexuality.

Reclaiming for themselves the definition of a woman became a priority. Instead of letting men’s objectification define women, either through our acceptance or rejection of their standards, these third wave feminist “grrrls” choose to reinvent femininity for themselves. If they wanted to be sexy, they weren’t going to let fear of being objectified stop them. So back came the high heels and bright lipstick – and more importantly, a control over their own sex lives. If they wanted to learn how to bake or knit and crochet they weren’t going to let fear of the cult of domesticity stop them from pursuing their interests. Expectations of culture could not contain them, they were their own women.

Unfortunately, with all this focus on self-empowerment, this wave often runs the risk of believing that the work of feminism is done. There have been so many gains for women that, as femininity gets redefined and sexual politics explored, there can sometimes exist an ignorance of what has come before and the hurdles that some women still face. To once again quote Naomi Wolf, “Feminism had to reinvent itself — there was no way to sustain the uber-seriousness and sometimes judgmental tone of the second wave. But feminists are in danger if we don’t know our history, and a saucy tattoo and a condom do not a revolution make”. This current struggle within feminism both negatively permits the inaccurate stereotypes to continue but also positively makes rooms for a diversity of feminisms that cannot be so easily defined.

To be continued tomorrow with my response to this story of feminism.

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Discovering Christian Feminism – Part 2

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This week as part of Rachel Held Evans’ One in Christ series I am posting the story of my journey to Christian Feminism – Read Part 1 here.

Finding out about all that stuff they don’t teach you in school because of the negative stigma our patriarchal culture has attached to feminism, actually helped make a lot of sense out of the whole movement for me. But isn’t that how it usually goes – the fear of the unknown must first be removed before it can be understood for its true self. So here’s a crazy brief and over-generalized overview of the history of feminism. It’s obviously not the full picture, but I hope it’s enough to help you see what I saw – that feminism has a rich history full of diverse voices.

Feminism in a Nutshell
The first historical fact that I discovered once I started looking was that there have been feminists throughout the history of the church. Okay, so they might not have used that term, but there have always been people who have been using their voice to advocate for women even in the face of opposition. There were the young Christian women in 3rd century Carthage who tried to overcome the stigma of being female by pledging to remain unmarried (and therefore perpetual virgins) and forego the veil which was the symbol of women’s shame. Sadly, they were met with the response that not even virginity or baptism could transcend the shame of being a woman. Then, in the 12th and 13th centuries, during a time when a woman’s only options were commitment to an arranged marriage or lifelong enclosure in a convent, a lay movement called the Beguines arose which offered women a third way. Women could commit to living in community with other women where they would engage in spiritual and intellectual endeavors without having to commit to lifelong chastity. Think of it like an early college for women during a time when most women weren’t even deemed worthy enough to be taught how to read. Living in community, discussing theology – sounds like my kind of ideal dorm life experience (yes, I am a bit of a theology nerd). Unfortunately, many of these women were accused of being heretics and burned at the stake for their pursuit of the life of the mind. Then, in 1617, Rachel Speght became one of the first women to publish a pamphlet under her own name (as opposed to a male pseudonym) in which she challenged a popular theory of the day that claimed all women were corrupt and therefore must be despised. Her pamphlet implores men to stop showing ingratitude to God by treating the women around them as less than the equal partners God created them to be. Although they often faced dire opposition, these voices are a historical testimony that the barrier to women answering the call to serve and follow God wasn’t always accepted without question. These women saw themselves as children of God and pleaded with the world to honor God before they honored philosophies that silenced and restrained God in the name of silencing women.

I personally was amazed to discover that one can look back on almost any period in history and find evidence of voices resisting the totalizing messages of patriarchy. But I also realized that feminism as a movement didn’t fully begin to coalesce in the Western world until the nineteenth century. When we use the term today (really use it, not just as an insult or a stereotype), it actually refers to what historians and other cultural observers have designated as three separate waves (or historical periods) of this movement to advocate for, give voice to, and empower women.

So if you were like me (and just about every other person who grew up in America) you saw the movie Mary Poppins as a kid. Amidst the spoons full of sugar and chim-chimneys you caught a glimpse (albeit a negative one) of one of the main purposes of first wave feminism – getting women the vote. While Disney portrayed Mrs. Banks cluelessly marching for the vote as evidence of how she neglected her children (and then turning her “Votes for Women” sash into a kite tail once she reprioritizes her life), they at least planted in the minds of a generation of kids the reminder that women had to fight for the right to vote. Yep, for most of our country’s history women were not considered intelligent or capable enough to have a say in who made the laws they had to live by.

If you can recall from your 5th grade social studies class, when the Founding Fathers of the fledging American nation declared our independence, they proclaimed that “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” The unspoken but assumed footnote at the time was that “all men” only referred to white males who were rich enough to own property since they were the only ones allowed to pursue those unalienable rights and have a say in how the country was run. Women, the landless poor, and people of color were generally considered more as property to be owned or, at best, protected. From the horrors and abuses of slavery, to the limits that kept women and free minorities from owning property, opening a bank account, going to college, or voting in an election, those rights were obviously not available to America’s “second class” citizens.

It was from our nations’ churches that the cry of “this isn’t right” first arose. Many Christians who took seriously the command to love others and who believed that in Christ there is “neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28) started speaking out for equal citizenship for all. Many of those early abolitionists were also the early feminist voices – some pushed towards that cause when, as women, they were denied the right to speak out on behalf of abolition. They cared so deeply about freeing those held in physical bondage that they saw the need to help women escape from bondage as well. In 1848, a group of some 300 men and women met in Seneca Falls, NY to demand freedom and rights for women. Their declaration concludes –

Now, in view of this entire disfranchisement of one-half the people of this country, their social and religious degradation–in view of the unjust laws above mentioned, and because women do feel themselves aggrieved, oppressed, and fraudulently deprived of their most sacred rights, we insist that they have immediate admission to all the rights and privileges which belong to them as citizens of the United States.

This is where the official feminist movement began – with a small group of people trying to apply the same ideas about human freedom that pushed them to fight for the end of slavery to women. Nothing evil or scary, just a plea for basic dignity, freedom, and respect. These were freedoms which, at the time, were actually becoming more and more elusive as the culture at large bought into Victorian ideas regarding the role and place of women. As the industrial revolution created the new social categories of working in the home vs. working outside the home (previously unknown since, in agrarian cultures, everyone worked at home in the fields) the idea was spread that women (meaning white women) were solely domestic and therefore belonged only in the home. Many women knew they didn’t fit this imposed role and came together to resist this societal impetus to place them in such a cage. In standing up for the freedom of both women and slaves, the emancipated slave Sojourner Truth in 1851 delivered her famous “Ain’t I a Woman” speech dismantling the hypocrisy of this cult of domesticity.

I think that ‘twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what’s all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain’t I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain’t I a woman?

You have to admire the audacity of a black woman in that time standing up to patriarchy by calling it out on its inconsistencies. Women like her helped change society. And other women joined the early feminist movement because they believed that if women had a voice then they really could change society. In 1870, Julie Ward Howe called for the celebration of the first Mother’s Day asking women to come together as one and use the combined power of their voices to help end the strain war had on families. Think of that, next year, when you send the sentimental card and flowers or take mom out for brunch (it could at least make for some interesting conversation – “Hey mom, did you know that Mother’s Day started as a feminist anti-war protest?”). Others joined the cause as a way to advance their work for prohibition to ensure that their husbands no longer drank the paycheck away, destroying their families in the process. For these women, working for rights for women, especially the right to vote, was utterly rooted in a desire to help make the world a better place.

By the early 20th century, as women still didn’t have the right to vote, the outcry became more vocal. Huge marches were staged demanding that women be given this most basic right. These women risked beatings and jail time to fight for this cause. They were generally met by the very large, and very well-funded, anti-suffrage movement, which argued that women didn’t really want to vote and weren’t qualified to do it anyway. But finally, in 1920 with the passage of the nineteenth amendment, women in the United States were granted the right to vote and have a say in their own government.

To be continued tomorrow.

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Discovering Christian Feminism – Part 1

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In conjunction with the One in Christ: A Week of Mutuality series Rachel Held Evans is hosting on her blog this week, I will be posting a five part series describing my initial journey to becoming a Christian feminist. Dealing with the issue of feminism (or the real f-word for many Christians) was the biggest hurdle I had in embracing egalitarianism, so while the journey for me involved various other aspects (wrestling with scripture, facing my demons…) this week I’ll be focusing strictly on how I dealt with the ‘feminist’ issue at the point in my journey when I was in the process of embracing egalitarianism. This series is just a glimpse of my process and may seem simplistic and restricted to some and too extreme for others – I simply want to share where I’ve been and hope it sparks valuable discussion.

A few years ago one of those viral YouTube videos making the rounds opened my eyes to the precarious place respect and equality for women holds in our society. The video portrays a male student at the University of Vermont going around asking female students to sign a petition to end women’s suffrage. The gag was that most of the women actually signed the thing saying that of course they don’t want women to suffer. Only a couple of women adamantly refused to sign and challenged the guy on why he was seeking to end women’s right to vote. Sadly, a number of people used this video to argue that if women aren’t intelligent enough to know what suffrage is then perhaps they shouldn’t be allowed to vote at all. However, I was more struck by what it revealed regarding the extent to which feminism is mocked, and even reviled, in our country.

The feminist movement is a threat to patriarchy, there is no way around that fact. And any voice or movement that attempts to challenge the power and prestige of those supporting the status quo is bound to receive some major push-back. Since actually engaging in conversation about whether women are fully human, worthy of respect, and intelligent would be devastating to the culture of patriarchy, feminism isn’t debated in our culture; it is simply slurred. Feminists have got to be one of the most mocked, reviled, and misunderstood groups in our country. From the epithet “angry feminist” to Rush Limbaugh’s pet phrase “feminazi,” feminists are portrayed as the pond scum of society. The campaign against them has been so successful that almost no one wants to be called a feminist, even the feminists.

That’s where I think the sad roots of this video lie. Girls in most areas of our country are rarely taught the history of the feminist movement. History is generally “his-story,” so the struggles of women to have a voice in our culture rarely make the textbooks. If students are taught anything at all about the great achievements the women’s movement has made (like the right to vote), they are not encouraged to take pride in it. Instead girls are often made to feel embarrassed by any association with feminists. They don’t want to be seen as angry, or bitchy, or asexual, or Nazi-ish (whatever that actually means). So even if they care about equal status and rights for women, the last thing they want is to be called a feminist.

This was the culture I grew up in. Feminist was a bad word, the real f-word. My culture shamed me away from it and the church told me that to be a feminist was the antithesis of being a Christian. Strong, successful women who might merit having the term applied to them were the brunt of endless jokes, especially those told from the pulpit. I mean, I lived in Texas during the 1990’s. From that vantage point, the most despised and mocked person on earth was Hillary Clinton. For a time it seemed like every other car had the bumper sticker “Impeach the President and Her Husband Too.” Politics had little to do with it – as a strong, educated, independent, and successful woman she was everything patriarchy didn’t want women to be. Act too much like that, too much like a feminist, and you would be mocked as well.

So I found myself faced with a real dilemma as I began to emerge from the world dominated by patriarchy and embrace egalitarianism. I came to understand that the entire premise of patriarchy –that men are, by nature, more capable than women — was not only wrong, but also immensely harmful to women. The messages patriarchy fed us about our worth and identity as women caused great pain to women, kept us from serving God, and prevented us from fully becoming the persons we were created to be. I no longer assumed that the message of patriarchy and the message of the Bible were one and the same. I knew I could no longer be a part of the world of patriarchy. But did affirming my worth as a woman created in God’s image mean that I was, *gulp*, a feminist?

While part of me wanted to embrace the label ‘feminist’, but there was just all that baggage associated with the term. Ironically, I found that I was a lot like the women in that YouTube video. I cared about women, but was too afraid to really learn what feminism (and its long history) was all about. I was the perfect example of the “I’m Not a Feminist, but…” poster, which reads, “I’m not a feminist, but… I appreciate the right to help choose my government representatives. I enjoy the option of wearing pants or shorts if I want. I’m pleased that I was allowed to read and write. It’s awfully useful to be able to open a bank account and own property in my name. I like knowing that my husband or boyfriend cannot legally beat me. It’s really swell to keep the money that I earn….”

Yep, that was me. I was all ready to escape from patriarchy’s lies, to live into my full potential as a woman, and to benefit from the work of feminists of the past, but I was scared to actually call myself one. I didn’t want to be mocked or called a feminazi simply for suggesting that women were people too. And then there were the bigger, scarier side issues that usually came along with the f-word. Didn’t being a feminist mean that I had to be pro-choice and a man hater? I was neither of those things, so even though I felt like I supported a lot of the stuff feminism stood for (being allowed to vote, own property, and get an education are pretty nice perks after all), I just didn’t know if I could claim the label.

That is, until I took the time to actually find out what feminism really was all about.

(look for Part 2 to be posted tomorrow)

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