I can certainly relate to the "imposter syndrome." Something about church sets us up to hide our flaws, usually from fear of being judged. At the same time we judge ourselves harshly too.

I wonder if it's possible to have high standards to which we hold each other accountable, and at the same time extend grace and acceptance? We know we should, but it's hard to get that right. I sure don't give it to myself in the right balance.

I'm 33. I'm a once-ambitious professional (and a Christian woman, shockingly!) with 2 and 4 year old sons. I still work professionally in an 80% appointment, which means my career is essentially stalled. That's a struggle, but I've had to accept that it is right for this time and to leave my future to God to use the gifts he's given me – either in career, or ministry, or both, as he sees fit. Oh, and I'm moving out of our childrens' ministry into another area that fits better with my gifts – and fortunately my church is supportive.

Esther:
“Confession: Sometimes I get really frustrated when people say that being a mom is the highest calling in life. (especially when they are not really listening to the tension I feel between being a mom and also using the other gifts God has given me)”

Esther – you nailed it. I'm sure being a mom is the highest calling in life for some people. For me, it's a high calling. But there is so much in me that yearns for other things. I know I need to discipline myself – I can't always be chasing yearnings. But at the same time, some of them are God-given, so…?

Ashley D:
"I feel insufficient in so many ways, but I can’t really place my finger on why. It could be that I have so many gifts and I know that I’m not living up to them and taking full advantage of them, so I feel guilty. It could also be that when I do try to put those gifts into use, I end up spreading myself too thin and then I know I’m not doing each of those responsibilities justice…guilt again. I have been an incredibly confident and independent woman in the past, but perhaps these humbling experiences may actually be beneficial for a time. Maybe I need to realize that I am a limited mortal being and I can’t do everything on my own all the time. I don’t think we should feel lesser than we are, but there is some honesty in accepting our shortcomings and failures. This pride thing is a thin balance."

Ashley – yes, there's that too. Being a mom, with all its limitations on my productivity and possibility, is a totally character-developing experience. I know God is using it and will continue to refine me through it. But MAN do I chafe against the limitations that being a mom brings in my life. I just have to trust that God is working all things together for the good of my life and his kingdom, and that those other gifts will be polished up and used for his kingdom in an even more amazing way because of what I've learned from being a mom.

Carrie

Women are expected to have emotions and listen to them and it's socially preferred that women have mental issues. While guys are told to not inner-reflect and to ignore emotions. Guys, especially fathers and husbands, are supposed to be "the rock" that a family is built on, so even when a guy wants to talk about these feelings, it's hard to find someone who will listen and not just tell him to grow up.

The cause of these feelings has nothing to do with gender or God. But the reliance on fitting in with society has a big impact on how individuals deal with those feelings and how they manifest. Everyone has these feelings. If you are around people who do not help your self-esteem, you simply have to get out, although society may look down on it and gossip, it is your life.

And just to show how universal this feeling is, look at all the successful Japanese businessmen who jump out of buildings because they made a mistake and can't handle the possibility that their family will be ashamed of them. Exact same feeling, but different religious and social views.

Too many women, far far too many women whom I know have expressed similar things (in and outside of the American Evangelical context).