Memorial Day Thoughts
As we prepare to take a day off work and grill obscene amounts of meat in our backyards, it is interesting to reflect on the original intent of Memorial Day. It began as a day to honor fallen Union soldiers after the Civil War and was later expanded to honor all American casualties of war. From the inaugural description of the day -
The 30th day of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land. In this observance no form or ceremony is prescribed, but Posts and comrades will, in their own way, arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit.
We are organized, Comrades, as our regulations tell us, for the purpose among other things, “of preserving and strengthening those kind and fraternal feelings which have bound together the soldiers sailors and Marines, who united to suppress the late rebellion.” What can aid more to assure this result than by cherishing tenderly the memory of our heroic dead? We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. All that the consecrated wealth and taste of the nation can add to their adornment and security, is but a fitting tribute to the memory of her slain defenders. Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.
As I read that description, I couldn’t help but reflect on the slight dissonance it recalled in me. For better or worse, I grew up in the South. While I was taught that slavery was wrong, there was an underlying sympathy for the South in the way that era of history was taught in schools. It wasn’t uncommon for the Civil War to be referred to as The War of Northern Aggression. History taught from the “other” perspective – in this case from the still slightly bitter losers – doesn’t always feel the same as that presented by the winners. So even now as I read the words telling me to honor those “who united to suppress the late rebellion” and died to preserve a “free and undivided republic,” I feel a twinge of dissonance. My cultural heritage, even if I don’t agree with it, was on the side of the rebellion. I am, in a small way, part of the “them” in this “us verses them” scenario. It just makes it a bit weird to remember and celebrate the sacrifices of the “other side.”
That dissonance was made even more real when I began to encounter other cultures that the United States has fought against. I remember being in some small country town in Germany and seeing a WW2 memorial. It took me a minute to realize that this was a memorial to the Nazis, the guys my country (my grandfather) killed. But they were sons and husbands sacrificed by this small town as well. Similar thing happened in grad school. I was out to lunch with a classmate from the Ukraine and we were sharing stories from our childhood about the Cold War. We each were fed propaganda about each other’s country and we had to do duck and cover drills in school. It was quite strange sitting in a Panara Bread in suburban Wheaton discussing how we would hide under our desks out of fear of each other. I saw the other side of the story and that those I had cast (or had been taught to cast) as “THEM” weren’t really that different than me. And while I admit to the evils of both WW2 and the Cold War, knowing the people on the other side makes it hard to celebrate those who died to protect me from them.
So as we are meant to keep the memory of the heroic dead on this day, I have to wonder if the “wealth and taste of the nation” might have some better use than preserving the memory of a fight to destroy those who are now our friends? Perhaps we could be building bridges, visiting country villages, and sharing meals with those we currently cast in the role of enemy. Perhaps instead of simple remembering those we lost in grievances of the past we can work to prevent the grievances of the present and future.
Or we could just relax, eat a hamburger, drink a beer and let the day pass unreflected upon (which in all truth are my plans for the day). But maybe it’s a good thing that community building has replaced the honoring of the dead as the main purpose of the day.
julieclawson(at)gmail(dot)com 
What a sweet tribute to those who gave their lives to ensure our freedom… no matter what side of the fence we were on. May their memory live on within us.
Again, to clarify I’m not American– but I’ve often heard many calls for anti-war protests on Memorial Day and such. It seems too often to me there is an air of judgmentalism and trivialisation of the horrific sacrifices that had to be made.
I was wondering if there was a “third way”– a way to honour and reflect on those who died, who had to do a terrible job no one should have to do, in a very difficult time and situation, and yet *not* glamourise war or dying in war, or painting this as a victory over “them”. In fact couldn’t the various nations come together and acknowledge the respective dead in WWII etc, while casting aside the ‘us’ and ‘them’– everyone after all was caught up back then in a world gone mad.
You’re an idiot.
Yes, wars involve two sides of people fighting. Nobody is celebrating war; Memorial Day is a somber day to reflect on the SACRIFICES of war.
We don’t honor the deaths of Nazis because they were TRYING TO DESTROY US. Before you take too much pity on the German soldiers, reflect on the 6 million Jews they killed.
Get a clue and stop pissing on the memory of the millions that have died for something bigger than themselves.
so many truly don’t understand the SACRIFICES military have made……and what the FAMILIES left behind have lost…..crazy how it is easy to say things. but unfortunately one thing that always will exist in America…the disrespect for veterans taking the bullets for YOU.
Hmmm. From the syntax and the use of particular capitalizations, AB and anonymous posts above seem related. There is nothing disrespectful about Julie’s post. Both from a cultural perspective (as we’re both from the culture of the side which lost the American Civil War) and from a Christian perspective, there are always hard questions to be asked about any way, even when it seems there was no other viable choice. We see that tension stretching all the way back in Christianity. One of the clearer instances is with St. Martin of Tours. While the Church has typically not rejected war completely (at times it is impossible to imagine an alternative that is not worse) at the same time it is clearly at best the lesser evil, never good. The times when the Church has strayed from that perspective have been pretty horrific.
My grandfather was a pilot in WWII. My father-in-law is a veteran of the Korean War. My father is a Vietnam veteran and still bears those scars. I’m a peace-time veteran myself (over the objections of my father and not a Christian at that time myself). The tension for any Christian is clear. The one whom you must kill as a soldier is still the one whom Christ commanded you to love. At times that tension becomes unbearable, as it did for St. Martin. But if there is no tension at all for a christian soldier …. well, I guess that means that some time of serious reflection is in order.
“about any war”, not way. Typo.
Having lived in the South all my life, I can relate to your reaction to the first description of Memorial Day, Julie. (Around here, folks in war reenactments will occasionally “tweak” history so that the South wins a battle they actually lost…just to “keep things interesting”!)
Seriously, though, few people realize that the effects of the Civil War still linger down here – economically and culturally. I’ve heard someone say that Southerners are the only Americans to descend from a generation that knows what it’s like to lose a war at home, that no other American demographic has faced that kind of humiliation. (Obviously they forgot about the Native Americans…but I understand the point.)
In some ways, I think Memorial Day is a reminder that there are no real winners in war. Everybody loses.
…So why are we breaking out the hot dogs and slicing up the watermelon? Maybe so we don’t have to think about it.
Julie great article. It reminded me of my feelings when I was home in Australia last year and our trip coincided with Australia’s equivalent of memorial day. It is called Anzac Day in honour of those that died in the battle of Gallipoli in Turkey during the first world war – a terrible battle that went on for months in which thousands of men died on both sides and no territory was ever gained. One of the largest celebrations of Anzac day now is held on the beach of Gallipoli with 30,000 plus people attending from Australia, New Zealand and Turkey – the emphasis is on the need for reconciliation and understanding across cultures. It was very moving and I thought very hope bringing too.
“So as we are meant to keep the memory of the heroic dead on this day, I have to wonder if the “wealth and taste of the nation” might have some better use than preserving the memory of a fight to destroy those who are now our friends?”
“But maybe it’s a good thing that community building has replaced the honoring of the dead as the main purpose of the day.”
I know I’m probably just repeating my previous post but I guess I just found a slightly different way of wording it
I do think a time for the remembering and honouring of the war dead has a very valid place– although of course every holiday has different meanings and functions for different people, and it will be a necessary and deeply resonant ritual for some, others would prefer to focus on gathering family and friends for the holiday and creating new memories.
I don’t think, as I said, that remembering those who died in battle need be about “preserving the memory of a fight to destroy those who are now are now our friends”– that’s what should change. I can remember how my countrymen of a previous generation died fighting the Japanese or the Nazis, without any lingering hatred or sense of ‘them’ vs ‘us’ for Germany or Japan today– I understand it was a very different time, a very different kind of government that was in power. My remembering them is no indictment of the Japanese or Germans, but particular institutions that existed in those countries *at the time*. I think we can forgive and move on, but that does not mean forgetting or whitewashing the past or not acknowledging what happened– but looking at it through eyes free of blame or hatred for those who represent the other side. War, however necessary, whoever started it, whichever way you cut it is a tragedy, for everyone– and as each country remembers their own war dead, we are all ultimately less different than we are the same. Although the narratives might be different, all of us are remembering someone’s son, someone’s father or brother, all who in one way or another was caught up in a convoluted web of violence, madness and death, one that we all still struggle to make sense of. We can reflect both with quiet gratitude– and grief– and hope that we might give our generation the chance they never had.
Like others have mentioned here – war hurts a lot of people, mostly innocent people on both sides. To forget that and to paint the other side as enemies or simply to ignore their pain doesn’t seem to fit in with the whole “love your neighbor as yourself” thing. Add to that the fact that many ways are questionable to begin with (I’m sorry but soldiers who died in Iraq or vietmam are not taking bullets for my freedom). I heard once that every decision to commit a country to war should not be made by the power hungry men in charge but by the mothers who will lose husbands and children and who will then live a destitute life on the non-existent pension a war-widow receives. We can buy the dream of a hero dying for a “greater cause” or we can weigh in the real pain that the living suffer in the name of heroism.
Julie– I’m not quite sure who or what you are addressing here. Are you specifically addressing AB’s post– or are you addressing the entire notion of remembering the soldiers who died in war with cynicism? I don’t mean to offend– just not sure.
Sorry – it was a mostly general comment, but that brought in things AB had addressed. I was just feeling too lazy to comment directly on all the comments
Interesting site, but much advertisments on him. Shall read as subscription, rss.
That’s a really good point to remember. The idea of being willing to sacrifice one’s life to defend others or defend the freedom of one’s country may be an honorable thing that should be remembered with gratitude. However, that does not mean that every war that we’ve sent our troops into was actually for those purposes. Personally I think “supporting our troops” should mean more than just putting them on some pedestal as heroes. It should also include helping them heal from the scars inflicted on them by the unnecessary wars our leaders have forced them to fight.
The stories I heard growing up from my Dad about Vietnam, the ones he was willing to share, when he was willing to share them, pretty much ensured I had few illusions about wars and those who lead us into them.
Heck, just watching him as he more or less recovered from it would have done that.
Great post! By putting a face on and name to the enemy they quickly become friends and family. Thanks.