On Mandalas, Facebook, and Community
I took “Facebook” quizzes in jr. high. Yes, I know, Facebook didn’t exist back in 1990. The first time I even got online was after I graduated high school during the summer of 1996. But the concept was there. We would take a spiral-bound notebook and at the top of each page create a category like “Favorite Color” or “Cutest Actor.” The notebook then was passed around the classroom as each friend added their name and answer to the page. And everyone had their own notebook (or two), collecting the opinions, likes, and dislikes of their friends. Of course sometimes debates ensued when topic headings were given like “Does God exist – Yes or No” or “Pro-life or Pro-choice?” It was all about connection – Facebook simply allows us to waste less paper.
I know things like Facebook, Twitter, and even Blogs are transitory. For as much time as we spend on them now, in a few years they will cease to capture our imagination and new vessels for connection will reign supreme. For some this transitoriness is reason to avoid them altogether. The trendy, the momentary, are to some reason enough to avoid something. I understand and respect that (although I am amused by the churches that just now are admitting that there may be something to this internet thing). But I also believe that just because something is transitory doesn’t mean it lacks value.
The image that comes to mind here is the Tibetan Buddhist practice of creating sand mandalas. These intricate mandalas are meticulously created by “painting” with colored sand sifted through funnels and layered into intricate patterns. Each mandala can take weeks to create, but are often ritually destroyed shortly after their completion. This destruction is meant to represent the transitory nature of life. What I love though is the belief that even though something may be transitory, it still holds spiritual significance.
While it may seem silly into once sense to compare things like Facebook or Twitter to spiritual practices, the benefit they bring has similar effects. Those notebooks we passed around in jr. high were simple and very transitory – but they were a point of connection. It was a way to express ourselves and broach the big topics that might not naturally arise in lunchtable conversation. The form isn’t important, all these things will one day be replaced by some new format, it’s their value as a community building tool that makes them worthwhile. The point is building community. So I value transitory tools – they are beautiful for what they are right now no matter where the future leads.
julieclawson(at)gmail(dot)com 
Great post, Julie. We’ve had the monks on campus twice doing the “sand paintings”. They never cease to amaze me.
For me it’s the shallowness of the connections made or communications conveyed that ultimately leaves me hollow, more than their transitory nature. Like Jr high notbooks, they may be great as a supplement to real, deep, in-person relationship and community and involvement in the lives of others. But they are a poor substitute for them.
I think of the jr. high setting where one really has no time to hang out with friends. I went to the science academy, so my classmates didn’t live anywhere near me. If we didn’t have the same lunch period, there was never a chance in the day to converse under the strict rules and watchful eyes of teachers. School itself got in the way of relationships. So the notebooks were our relationships – those could be done quietly in class. not that real relationships aren’t necessary, but sometimes forging community requires creativity.
I think most people do use Facebook, etc. as “a supplement to real, deep, in-person relationship and community and involvement in the lives of others,” not merely as a substitute. They’re also useful for keeping connected to people for whom you have no other opportunity for any deeper or in-person interactions – e.g. old friends, people who live far away, friends you’ve met at various conferences/events, etc. I am a horrible letter writer and hate talking on the phone, so there are literally hundreds of people who have dropped out of my life after I was out of the immediate context where we were together. That’s why I’m grateful for Facebook giving me a chance to reconnect with those folks in some small way.
And besides, who says all of your relationships need to be exceptionally deep anyway? I value the handful of deeper friendships I have, but if every friendship I had was like that it would wear me out! I think Joe Myers makes a great point in his book “The Search to Belong”, that each of us has multiple spheres of interaction, and as the spheres get larger, the level of intimacy grows less, and that this is a normal and healthy thing! So so what if the interactions on Facebook are “shallow”? As long as I have other more intimate relationships elsewhere, why should I want or expect anything more from Fb?
I like Facebook too Mike, for the same reasons. It’s been a great way to reconnect and catch up with people I had lost touch with, and keep up with the lives of people in both the near and the farther-out “spheres” you mention. FB is also great for people who would otherwise be even more isolated without it, like stay at home moms (or dads) – as witnessed by the huge number of status updates and comments daily by stay at home’s on my FB friends list. I don’t disagree with anything you typed.
It’s when those type of interactions begin to replace in-person friendships and interaction or crowd out the ability to form new friendships with people in my immediate community that I could otherwise be forming, that something is lost. That doesn’t have to happen, but we’re fooling ourselves if we deny that happens for some people, or deny that the technology can lend itself to that. On the relational level, for most people, facebook, twitter and the like remind me of the cheap, but not very nutritious food that crowds the shelves of your local grocery store. Relatively harmless and even good in moderation; but not a healthy primary diet.
If forced to choose, I’ll take Wendell Berry’s vision of community over Bill Gates’ and Steve Jobs’. But as long as technology remains a servant rather than a master, maybe I shouldn’t have to choose.
While I’ve used the internet to communicate for years, I’m a recent convert to FACEBOOK. In just a few weeks I’ve found that this combination of trivia and glimpses of my “neighbor’s” days, develop into a ’sense of knowing’ even at a great distance. It leads to a deeper connection that may even require long e-mails or a trip to see each other face to face.
Like “pen pals” of old, we share our lives, dreams, and hopes for more beauty, justice and contentment in our world.
The tool has changed. We have less ink under our nails. But the need for kindred spirits with like minded goals and dreams is timeless.
B”H
Hi Julie,
I just wanted to make a brief comment, but it’s somewhat off-topic. I didn’t know where to post this so I’m choosing to drop it here since it’s the most current.
I don’t read your blog as regularly as I’d like, but when I do, I usually spend several hours reading the posts for several weeks and most of the comments. IMHO, you are an excellent writer. I like the content you provide and the stimulus it generates for discussion. CIP – lately I have been researching the topic of ‘whiteness’ within the current national conversation on race. I was glad and sad at the same time while reading your review of Dr. Rah’s book. There is a very real anti-white sentiment that permeates the anti-racism movement and I was very disturbed to hear such ideas expressed in Dr. Rah’s book. While we need to embrace an honest critique of white Western culture, we also need to distinguish between white culture and white people.
Thanks for your thoughts and comments.
Blessings,
Shlomo