Julie Clawson

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Month: June 2008

If it’s not one thing…

Posted on June 30, 2008July 10, 2025

So I feel like I need to explain why I’ve disappeared from the online world and haven’t returned anyone’s emails in basically forever…  Just as I was beginning to feel somewhat normal again after Aidan’s birth, I developed intense pain in my left leg.  Apparently I developed a blood clot in my leg and it passed into my lungs.  So I was back in the hospital last week, on all types of medications, and feeling like complete crap.  I can’t breastfeed Aidan, I can’t stand on my leg, and I am just plain sick of being miserable (and not a little freaked out at being diagnosed with a life threatening issue).  I should have expected something like this to happen with this “if it can go wrong it will” pregnancy,  but good grief.

So that’s me for now.  Just thought I’d let you know.

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Mommy Mode

Posted on June 17, 2008July 10, 2025

Thank you all for the congrats and everything. I’m slowly recovering from giving birth and am slowly re-entering the world. Aidan and I are both doing well. I’m still in lots of pain (and rather drugged up) and haven’t slept much, but that’s how these things go!

To give the basic info. Aidan was born last Wednesday June 11 by emergency c-section. I went through the whole labor thing only to discover that he was positioned face up with his neck tilted back. It would have caused him severe trauma to be born vaginally, so I was rushed to have a c-section. I had to be completely put under and Mike couldn’t be in there, but the result was a healthy baby boy. If you are really interested, I posted the full birth story here. There are also more pictures and our reasons for choosing the name Aidan Elessar on the baby blog.

So I have no idea when I’ll get back to posting reguraly here, I’m taking things a day at a time at this point. But I can direct you to a piece I wrote for the Jesus Manifesto blog’s writing contest on Pentecost. I had a great time exploring themes on how the Holy Spirit works.

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Aidan Elessar Clawson

Posted on June 12, 2008July 10, 2025

Aidan Elessar Clawson

June 11, 2008, 3:15pm ~ 8 lbs., 1 oz.; 20 inches

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Life Update

Posted on June 9, 2008July 10, 2025

So yes I am still alive. No the baby isn’t here yet. Despite near constant contractions (literally all day, everyday…) I am not in real labor yet. But the false labor leaves me so mind-numbingly distracted and in so much pain that I am getting very very little done (unless watching hours of the Food Network and reading Emma dozens of books count as something…).

Anyway, in lieu of a real post, here’s a fun picture I took the other day (from a moving car window of course). Talk about truth in advertising…

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God Uses Disciples

Posted on June 5, 2008July 10, 2025

I’ve been reading through Brian McLaren’s newest book, Finding Our Way Again, an exploration of spiritual practices. I am enjoying his down to earth everyday perspective on the spiritual practices and have appreciated how he has integrated other issues he has written about into his thoughts on these topics. Our spiritual lives must be integrated, so of course one cannot have a theology of the kingdom or engage in changing everything without those things affecting our spiritual formation. It is all part of what it means holistically to be a Christian and must be a lifelong process as well. On that dimension, I was struck by the following passage (sorry for the lengthy quote, I just thought it was good) –

When any sector of the church stops learning, God simply overflows the structures that are in the way and works outside them with those willing to learn. As the old hymn says, God’s truth keeps marching on. God can’t be contained by the structures that claim to serve him but often try to manage and control him.

But then, as soon as the center of gravity shifts and those within the structures are ready to learn again, the Holy Spirit is there, ready to move to the next lesson in the ongoing educational process called history. Again and again through history, although we want to create “right people” and “wrong people” columns into which groups are sorted, God flips the script and sees two rows that cut across both columns: the “proud and unteachable people” row on top and the “humble and teachable people” row on the bottom. Grace flows downward, Scripture tells us, in both columns.

I find this delightful, because it tells the traditionalists that their tradition doesn’t protect them from losing their way, and it tells the revolutionaries that their zeal and courage don’t provide guarantees either. It calls everyone to humility and teachability, and invites everyone to climb up to a higher altitude and look for the larger pattern of God for which God constantly works – the common good.

And this, of course, is essential to finding our way. Practices are not for know-it-alls. Practices are for those who feel the need for change, growth, development, learning. Practices are for disciples. We could say that rituals are practices of learners, and ritualism is the continuation of the practice by people who have stopped learning. Similarly, we could say that traditions are the heritage of a community of learners, and traditionalism is the continuation of the heritage by people who have stopped learning.

The life-and-death question for each of our churches and denominations may boil down to this: are we a club for the elite who pretend to have arrived or a school for disciples who are still on the way? p. 137

I like how this perspective gives all the power and glory to God. When good things are happening, it is all God overflowing who he is into the world. We can draw lines, point fingers, and call names at the divisive or the new, but when God is moving does it really matter?

This ability to be lifelong learners and grow in our practice of faith seems like such a basic necessity for believers, but I have run into so many who think otherwise. I’ve had people tell me that they refuse to read certain books because it may force them to consider new things about God. Others who claim that they are too simple or too old to alter their faith habits. Still others who are assured that they know everything there is to know about the faith so they have no need to engage in learning or spiritual practices. I have always been uncomfortable with such attitudes, but have to admit that in their own way these people still love God even if they are not actively seeking him out. So I like the image of God overflowing (as opposed to abandoning) these stagnant vessels to still move in this world. I’d like to think that I am a disciple – continuing to grow and be used by God – at least that is what I seek. But if anything it is a good lesson in humility to know that God can overflow whatever boxes I create for him and move powerfully in the world.

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Faith and Hope

Posted on June 2, 2008July 10, 2025

Last night we finally got around to watching the movie Children of Men. It was one of those movies we had meant to see when it came out, but given that we hardly ever watch movies anymore that never happened. But in my beached whale on couch stage, Netflix has come in quite handy. I thought the movie itself was engaging – a story of survival and possible hope in a post-apocalyptic world. The story of a world that has destroyed itself where no children are born and prejudice and violence reign of course provided good social commentary for where we are headed as a world today.

But what I found almost more interesting was a short documentary feature included on the DVD. The Possibility of Hope explored the themes of the movie and how close they are to our realities today. Commentary for this feature was provided by philosophers like Slavoj Zizek and writers like Naomi Klein. While the title of the piece implied something vaguely hopeful, I found it to be overly pessimistic. As they presented it, the world is so far past the breaking point that there is little chance for recovery. As some of them put it, even if everyone started to care about issues like the environment, poverty and globalization it wouldn’t matter at this point since we are so far gone. Then they claimed that getting everyone to care would be impossible anyway since caring for others just runs against the grain of human nature. Those who think otherwise were mocked for seeking a fairy tale Utopia. Of course the whole thing ended on a rather cheezy note of – “but we all should continue to have children because maybe they can provide some hope.”

Honestly this is one of those attitudes that I encounter often and that I have issues with. No I am not naive enough to believe that every single person on the planet will one day stop being selfish or that salvation/utopia will suddenly appear if they did. But at least within the bounds of my Christian faith, I don’t see compassion as entirely impossible. Perhaps we are inherently selfish creatures (or perhaps that is partially the conditioning of our individualistic culture), but the whole point of our faith is to be transformed. To assume that just means some magic wand takes care of the economic exchange of sin and forgiveness but does nothing to change who we are as people is a cheap and hollow faith in my opinion. If our faith is real then we should have no problem at least trying to put into practice commands like – “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Perhaps outside of religious faith compassion is too hard or a utopian dream, but within the Christian faith it forms the foundation for how we should be interacting with others. So I can’t buy that things can never change or that all hope is lost, not if I still believe in the transforming power of Jesus in people’s lives.

Unfortunately it is often Christians themselves who fight having to care at all. It is within the church that I hear the most prejudice, nationalism, and individualism. Excuses like – “but Jesus said the poor will always be with us so therefore we shouldn’t help them” to “I don’t want to condone sin (or their religion) if I given them aid” are often on the tip of our tongues. Others point blank state that their family’s needs will always come first (needs being a relative term in that sentence). And while the numbers who are anti-environmental are thankfully dwindling, it is still hard to find those who think that they personally need to make sacrifices to care for our world and its inhabitants.

In other words the one place compassion can and should be rampant is just as self-centered as the rest of the world. Even so, I don’t think this is a reflection of the way things have to be. Call it idealism or call it hope, I’m not ready to give up on my faith and the commands of the Bible that easily. I think the church (as in the body of Christ) can be transformed and be moved to love others. I don’t think all hope is lost or that we should just give up and retreat even further into ourselves. I actually do think there is the possibility of hope that things can be better – in both large and small ways. This is the naive utopianism that the documentary was mocking, I know. But it is part of what I’ve discovered I have to believe if I am serious about my faith. What’s the point of it anyway if I’m not following and trusting Jesus?

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Julie Clawson

Julie Clawson
[email protected]
Writer, mother, dreamer, storyteller...

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"Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise." - Sylvia Plath

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