Do I Like Jesus?
I’ve always disliked that icebreaker/college essay question “if you could have dinner with anyone who has ever lived who would you choose?” Of course most Christian versions of that question add the caveat, “besides Jesus,” and therein lies my problem. The expectation is that my first choice would be to sit down and chat for an evening with Jesus, but in all truth I don’t know that it would be. Why? Basically because although I love Jesus, worship him as Lord, and try to follow his teachings I don’t know that I like Jesus.
Let me clarify. It’s not that I dislike Jesus, I just don’t know if he’s the sort of person I would like to hang out with. I wrote recently about our tendency to create Jesus in our own image, and I’ve been thinking a lot about my perception of Jesus since then. I spend most of my time thinking about the theological aspects of Jesus. I translate his words and actions into my life today, but rarely do I think about Jesus as a person. Somewhere in my consciousness, I have an image of him that’s a cross between a radical hippie and a “Mr. Personality” type guy that everyone can’t help but like. Into this image I’m projecting years of being told that Jesus is somehow irresistible, that I can’t help but respond to and follow him. Pictures of Jesus with deep soul-searching eyes back up these images. But I don’t think my perceptions are accurate. And neither are the Jesus as boyfriend or Jesus as manly man dichotomies being thrown around these days.
It’s when I start to think of Jesus as an historical person that I begin to have doubts. I honestly have to ask, how well would I get along with a Jewish man who probably kept to most of the rituals and purity laws? I have issues being comfortable around the legalistically orthodox today. It’s not that I think they are wrong or anything, it’s just awkward to have a casual friendship with people who follow very different social habits. Not impossible, just awkward to have a chatty dinner with people who raise an eyebrow if I wear pants or say “gosh.” And I know I sound rude and judgemental, I’m just trying to be truthful that such encounters aren’t always pleasant. It’s the same thing with Jesus. While I’m sure sitting down for a meal with Jesus (and I still question if he would sit down with a gentile woman) would be educational and a good experience, I doubt it would be the best friends forever encounter most people would assume it to be.
So please don’t burn me at the stake. I have no problem worshiping Jesus and learning from him. I love what he has to say and all that. I just don’t know how well I like him. (I hope that makes some sense and doesn’t just sound really self-centered…)
julieclawson(at)gmail(dot)com 
One of the most likable things about Jesus is he doesn’t force anyone to like him. Other things: he does think of you, and me, and the next person as, well, as persons. We’d be his choice “to sit down and chat for an evening,” and he’d genuinely like us even if we don’t reciprocate the feeling. Frankly, I think he’s grown quite used to people not liking him particularly, would’ve been burned at the stake if they couldn’t get the nails through his limbs. (He did sit down with that half-gentile woman, you know, at the well–and that went okay; and if it took him a while, when the full goy gal was arguing with him over dog food, he made a big public deal out of her wanting the table scraps of the chosen. He seemed quite impressed with her in the end).
I, for one, really like your candor! (and I really think he might too.)
I’m not so sure J.K. that we would always “be his choice to sit down and chat for an evening”. And I’m also pretty confident that Jesus had people that he didn’t “genuinely like”. For one, Jesus tended to hang out with the marginalised and to be honest, as a relatively well paid, western, white man – I’m pretty sure I’m not one of those.
I guess the issue for me becomes how do you deal with Jesus: “the man with a personality and flesh who I might not actually like” and Jesus: “Son of God and object of my worship” being one and the same.
Once again, Julie, you’re responsible for my brain exploding into tiny little pieces and making quite a mess. Thanks for that
How’s it feel to walk along the edge of the cliff? Ditto the last sentences in both the above comments.
What an honest and vulnerable post. Thank you for writing it.
What came to mind as I was reading was a certain friendship I have. This guy is 15 years my senior, a full-time, lifetime minister, and still carries much of the “old school”, churchy lingo and manner that I, too, have grown awkward with. Yet for years (until he moved away), we met several times a week to chat for hours at a local Starbucks.
So why do I so enjoy hanging out with a guy that is so different than me? Simply…I feel absolutely accepted in his presence. He knows our differences and embraces them fully, and always looks for ways to contribute to my success, even at his own expense. The genuine love he showed me overcame all the things that would have otherwise stood in the way of the friendship.
I can’t help but think that same dynamic would be in play if we got the chance to have dinner with Jesus. If we got a glimpse of His love and acceptance, I think maybe that would trump the real or perceived cultural differences.
Courageous post! Anyone who burns you at the stake for being honest is afraid.
Jesus is mos def resistible. “Sell all your things and give the money to the poor and follow me?” Pshhhh. We want to believe he’s irresistible because it makes it easier to believe he’s on our side. We all resist him, but he walks through walls and entreats us anyway: “Put your hands here in my side.”
I haven’t lived up to him being irresistible, but I’ve heard he loves me anyway.
I used to say Hitler for those ice-breaker games, but after several experiences of really angering people and having to explain myself for a long time, I moved on. (I still think dinner with Hitler would be incredibly challenging and push one to new places, but anyways.)
In some ways, I’d be afraid to have dinner with Jesus because of the way he sees right through you to the truth–what would he think about the justice shown by what we served and our house furnishings? Heck, today he’d probably be a vegetarian if not vegan. And he’d probably invite along some folks I generally look down on.
>Julie, I can’t stop thinking about your question, whether Jesus is likeable enough for my parties. (There’s also that Isaiah forecast saying he just wouldn’t be:
“The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.“)
>Geoff, You’re right. If he asks one of his best friends, S. Peter, whether he loves him to which he answers only at first “you’re my friend,” then what does he ask me, like you, “a relatively well paid, western, white man.”
(So I’m only getting some comfort here out of the next discomforting lines of Isaiah 53:
“But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
on him, on him.”)
I’m with Jeff on this one. Yes, there would be vast differences between us were I to meet with Jesus–yet I also have a strong belief that He is not arbitrary, that He is more capable than we are of seeing past such things as racial, cultural, and gender differences. Do I expect to be judged in His presence? Of course. The difference is that unlike dealing with an ordinary person, I would know that I was being judged on the right things, not on people’s arbitrary prejudices. I would also find it reassuring to know that I am not dealing with two-facedness or smug arrogance: someone pretending kindness and “tolerance” (which usually just means “I will pretend to your face to like you and what you do, even though I think you’re the slime beneath my shoes”) to my face but inside harboring all manner of unkindnesses. Nor would I be dealing with someone who nitpicked or criticized in order to feel holier-than-thou, or for the sake of destroying another person. Do I expect that I would deserve some criticism? Yes…a lot of it. But given what I know about Him, I think I would trust His motivations much more than I would others.
I think it would be a tough meal in terms of knowing I was being seen right down to the bottom of my soul. However, I do not see Him as the sort who would use His cultural differences with the intent of creating a barrier as I see so many people do these days. (”You’re not [insert group here]–you’ll never get it and you’re not welcome to even learn…but don’t you DARE offend ME or else!”) Accommodation and learning go both ways. I do not doubt that He would do His part. I also don’t think He would take it out on me that He created me to belong to a certain set of parents with a certain background, skin color, and the like. If there is anyone I should be uncomfortable with in that respect, it is myself. I really find myself wondering if I would do all that I ought to to make Him feel welcome and accepted, and in what ways my prejudices might expose themselves in front of Him.
That’s the scariest part to me: learning things about myself that I would prefer to remain ignorant of.
Thanks for the honest replies. I have to wonder if I can ever accept fully both Jesus as God and Jesus as man. I’m all good with the theology there, and I’m all good with judgment and calling, I just don’t know if I can ever not let those things utterly trump the human aspects.
Interesting question babe. I honestly don’t think Jesus would have a hard time sitting down to eat with you, nor do I picture him being excessively legalistic. However, I doubt whether any of us would be able to handle how radical and revolutionary he was. He wouldn’t just be a polite dinner guest. He was a peasant rabble rouser, a wild-eyed radical condemning the injustices and abuses of power in his day (and implicitly those in our own). I think most of us would end up being offended by him at some point in the course of the evening, as he directed his criticisms our own way as participants in the oppression and injustices present in our world.
Julie, I really appreciate your post here. Do these icebreakers require that you sit down and have dinner with the person in his/her historical setting? Or can the historical figure show up in your contemporary setting? I’ve studied the historical Jesus (thank you, Tom Wright) so I completely understand how his very Jewish, male manifestation is off-putting – it is to me too. But if Jesus showed up in our time and culture…well, I can’t help but think he would contextualize. I’m aware of the danger of creating Jesus in our own image, but in the same way he took on the particular culture of second-temple Judaism (working within it, but also critiquing it and turning it upside-down), I wonder if he wouldn’t take on ours if he showed up here. Surely he would expose our idolatry and ignorance and hardness of heart, but it would make for an interesting conversation, wouldn’t it? (Side note: I guess all this is me trying to reconcile the very particular historical Jesus with the Jesus who is the one true human and the representative of all people in all cultures in all times. How are we supposed to think about Christ being both particular and universal?)
Well Julie, I hope you do get the chance to dine with Christ one day! As the song goes… i can only imagine…
As for me, I always thought it would more fun to have dinner with John or James or Mary or one of the disciples… what was it like to be there when it was all unfolding. While I imaging that they all followed the law just as closely, I get the sense that we would have much more to talk about that we agreed on than not.
I’m a-scared of Jesus. The real one, the historical one. I’m pretty frightened that I might be one of the people whose ass he would promptly kick. Or maybe just stare at me and say, “Who are you? Go away. I never knew you.”
And I love Jesus. I’m trying to follow his Way.
You’re the first person I’ve heard to say this. Very nice and very insightful.
Terrific post! I echo your whole fearing Jesus wouldn’t sit down and sup with a gentile. I think it depends when you were to sit and hang with Jesus as to whether he would have been okay eating with you or whether he would have called you a dog and forced you to beg for crumbs (the subject of my Friday post, actually!)
Thank you for being courageously honest and giving us some questions to think about, not answers.